Pass The Purell

I don't know about you guys, but it seems like everyone I know has gotten sick with something contagious recently. Because knowledge is power, I think you ought to know just what the nasties that are causing all this misery look like. We rented a powerful microscope -- hey, we spare no expense for you, our dear readers -- put samples of the germs under the microscope, and magnified them 5000 times. Here's what we found: Let's start with...

Flu

...and landed very, very badly.

("Shhh! It's trying to communicate.")

("Yeah, and it's saying, 'OUCH.'")

You've probably heard of e-coli:

Be careful around this one -- it makes you feel like crap.

I'll bet you think this is the common cold:

Well, it's not.

Most of us are familiar with Strep:

You know, the one that makes you a little hoarse?

And finally, there's Staphylococcus:

Which is the disease that killed Sigmund Freud.

(Actually, it's not. But wouldn't that have been deliciously ironic?)

We hope you've managed to avoid getting sick, because no one wants these in real life, or in cake form.

(If you were "lucky" enough to get one of these, feel free not to share, m'kay?)

Let's spread thanks to Kara W., Tiffany W., Jan Y., Kerrie C., and Katie P., for their infectious senses of humor.

TMI Celebrations

While I agree that no celebration is complete without cake, I also think some celebrations should maybe be a bit more private than others:

Please tell me you invited the in-laws.

Ahhh, that sweet, sweet moment when your wife throws you a surprise Vasectomy Recovery party:

I hear if you buy two they throw in the bag of frozen peas for free.

(OH YES I DID.)

I looked it up. It really is a thing. So I have two questions: who are you getting this cake for, and how will that not end badly for you?

Of course, nothing will lead to a round of denials as much as this:

C'mon. Does anyone ever admit to watching this show?

But for the ultimate "I-just-learned-something-I-never-wanted-to-know-about-you" dessert, we have this:

So many puns, so few of them safe for work...

Let's all give a hand to Heather M., Alison K., Laura W., Helen J., & Nicole A. for today's wrecks.

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Funny story about that last cake: it was commissioned by none other than Mr. Bill Murray during the filming of Moonrise Kingdom as a joke for one of the guys working on set. (Cameron was turning 21.) Nicole worked craft services for the movie, and was responsible for fetching the cake from a local bakery. She tells me Murray also insisted on taking Cameron out for his first drink, and was fantastic to the whole crew, and I am insanely jealous of all of them. :)