Friday Favs 9/30/16

A few of my favorite submissions this week.

It's not even October, you guys, but bakers are already trying to scare us.

Fruit cocktail dumped on chocolate Tres Leches cake?
WHAT FRESH CANNED HORROR IS THIS?

And while we're bellowing rhetorical questions to the heavens...

The eyelashes. Why?
The head wound/toupee. Why?
The person who eventually paid money for this. WHYGAWDWHY

Ahem.

Brides-to-be, let's talk about putting a blood fountain under your wedding cake.
Specifically, let's talk about how you should NOT do that.

Granted, you almost don't notice the blood fountain under all the fake flowers, plastic staircases, feathers, and Mardi Gras beads - but unless Freddy Krueger is marrying the 80s, this is not a good thing.

The label says "Pumpkin Spice Cake," but Ashley wasn't fooled:

She knows "Poo-mpkin" Spice when she sees it!

And finally, here's my new favorite butchering of "you will be missed."

Judging by that splat behind the L, it's a shame the baker didn't.

Thanks to Joanna R., Brenna Z., Karen F., & Laurie - NOT "Lorie" - for the excellent wreckporting.

*****

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When Ninja Turtles Come Out Of Their Shells

In honor of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles' Mutation Day, allow me to present:
How To Make Your Own Mutant Ninja Turtle

1) Find a happy turtle.

No, happier.

HAPPIER!!

Perfect.

2) Trap the turtle.

You may need a bigger cage.

3) Teach your turtle to love America.

If you're not American, teach your turtle to love America anyway.
We need all the fans we can get right now.

When your turtle is properly addicted to Cheez Whiz and America's Got Talent, it's time to move on to the mutation phase.

4) Flatten him out:

5) And apply the super secret ingredient.

Be careful, sometimes there's a plastic baby in there.

6) Add a colorful face mask, hope your turtle has acquired ninja skills, and you're done!

Just remember, mutation results may vary.

But hey, at least he's still happy to see you:

Thanks to Aliza E., Nathan M., Troy K., Denise, Courtney B., Tara M., Janet, Gary R., & Sharlyn W. for another reptile dysfunction.

*****

Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.