A Reptile Dysfunction

In honor of World Turtle Day, let's take a moment to meet some of the lesser known turtle cake varieties.

Because nature is beautiful, people.

The Slimy Nope Tail:

Also collects spores, molds, and fungus!

Snootless Flipper Swaddles:

They do a mean sloppy swish.

The Hardboiled Nubby-Teeter:

The candy coating makes it go down easier.

The Majestic Elephant-Pawed Flirpity Floo:

So named for its magnificent flirpity-floos.

The Squeaky Noodle Squelcher:

Watch out; they squeak!

Hypno Danger Piddle:

Try not to stare.

And finally, and most majestic:

The Dong-Headed Stumpy Trunks:

Truly the pokiest of them all.

Thanks to Kathryn S., Shannon K., Megan B., Liz K., Kyna H., Jamie L., & Sara M. for really coming out of their shells.

*****

Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.