New Year's: Ringin' Wreckage

As we contemplate a New Year's Eve filled with drink and debauchery - or maybe an Agents of SHIELD marathon with the cats [WINK] - remember, friends, that wine glasses don't work like this:

And they definitely don't look like this:

And while these bakers have obviously never seen a champagne bottle before, let's be grateful they at least know they're green:

(I can't even with those glasses. CANNOT. EVEN.)

So get on out there, wrecky minions, and enjoy your tubing tentacle babies!

They, uh, may be a little stale.

Also, have fun, stay safe, and never - EVER - over-emphasize a greeting with the foolish and reckless use of an unwarranted exclamation mark:

Thank you.

Thanks also to Hannah, Nick G., Kathy R., Leah and John, Emily K., Meg G., and Grace S., for being especially frindly.

*****

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Wrecking By the Book

When ordering a cake at your local bakery, you may be given a big picture book to choose from. This could cause you some concern: will your cake look as nice as the one in the photo?

Well, never fear, cake consumer! I'm here to help. Now, will your cake look exactly like the one in the book? YES. Absolutely.

Er, with a few caveats, of course.

Caveat #1: Perspective is all relative.

And to think: you were worried!

Caveat #2: Designs are open to interpretation.

I could be wrong, but I think this translates roughly to, "I hate my job, and you by association."

Caveat #3: The toy is all that matters.

Just look at that icing sky. Perfection!

Caveat #4: No, seriously. THE TOY IS ALL THAT MATTERS.

[sound of head hitting desk repeatedly]

Caveat # 5: On Wild Card Wednesdays, anything goes.

Really? Seriously? This can't be real...[flipping through proof file] Here it is. Hmm. Ahuh. Ahuh. Yeah. Really? No way. Seriously? They told her the Tinkerbell figurine didn't come with the cake?!? Haven't they seen caveats 3 and 4? I mean, C'MON!

Ahem.

Paige, I am so sorry for you.

Thanks to Wreckporters Aimee S., A.E., Cecily C., Kelli R., and, of course, Paige T.

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