By The Book

So what really happens when you order a cake from the bakery's big book o' plastic kit designs? 

LET'S FIND OUT.

 

Amanda D. ordered this Cars design, which was not only in the bakery's book, but also on a giant banner behind the counter:

Even so, Amanda made sure to ask if her cake would look exactly like this one, and was assured it would.

Which was, well, half right:

I was about to point out how nice those yellow lines on the bottom are, but then I realized they're just another piece of plastic. So never mind.

Oh, but for the full effect you really need the side view:

You can almost see the cake tipping over in slow motion.

 

Jessica W. ordered this design:

 

I still think sticking stuffed animals on a cake is kind of questionable, but hey, who am I to judge?

Especially when the end result comes out looking this good!

As you can see, it's exactly the same... toy.

 

For this next one I'm going to show you the cake first, just so you can experience the same bewildering confusion I did until I looked up the original e-mail to figure out just what the heck it's supposed to be:

Any guesses? 

No? 

Aw, c'mon. Look reeeeally hard!

It could be there's MORE THAN MEETS THE EYE. Eh?

Ok, ok, here's the design:

Yeeeeah. I'm pretty sure the toys aren't going to help much this time, Bronwyn.

 

Sam's baby shower was jungle themed, so she asked for this Dora design with some "jungle animals" on it instead of the toys:

Aaaand this is what she got:

 

 

John actually wanted me to pull this one because it's "exactly what she asked for." (Don't worry; I'm checking his temperature as we speak.) Still, I decided to leave it in as a valuable lesson in advertisement vs reality. And also so I can get some support here: This is fugly as all get-out, right? It's not just me?

 

And finally, my favorite of them all:

 

Wyatt ordered this Star Wars design, but I guess the bakery ran out of the toys? Maybe? Wyatt doesn't say, but I'm guessing that's what happened, anyway.

So, are you ready for this?

Aw, what am I saying? You'll never be ready for this.

 Sha-pow!

THAT'S NO DEATH STAR.

 

Thanks to all of today's wreckporters for the reminder that not just brides-to-be have to be afraid: WE ALL DO.

Dear Dairy

[Monday, April 29th]

Dear Diary,

Today's my first day decorating at the bakery! I'm going to keep a photo journal so I'll have a ready-made portfolio when I open my own cake shop. I'm so excited!!

 

8:45 am
My piping skils might need a little work:

 

10:00 am
Spacing is HARD!

 

10:45 am
Spacing's getting better, but I really need to figure out how to fix missteaks mistakes:

The guy who picked this up kept going on about how I "double-crossed him," and laughing. Must be a Game of Thrones thing.

 

12:45 pm
Woohoo! I have mastered the art of chocolate drizzle!

I know it's good because customers keep stopping to take pictures of my work!

 

1:30 pm
Another success! I had a really complicated order but I was extra careful to write it all down exactly and now the customer wants to see my manager!

I'm totally getting a raise!

 

2:45 pm
Huh. I really thought Kalhteen's mom would be pleased, but she seemed kind of grumpy.

I guess she doesn't like rainbows.

 

4:00 pm
Woohoo! Carol says I'm the best decorator in the whole department! She even let me try my first cupcake cake to celebrate:

Who's number one? It's me!!

 

Thanks to Trisha B., Phillipa P., Monique R., Maggie D., Kim B., and Eric S. The road to disillusionment is so much more fun when traveled with friends.

 

PS: Let the Princess Bride jokes...BEGIN. ("You don't happen to have six fingers on your cupcake cake, do you?")