Pass The Purell

I don't know about you guys, but it seems like everyone I know has gotten sick with something contagious this winter. Heck, I was sick the entire month of January. Because knowledge is power, I think you ought to know just what the nasties that are causing all this misery look like. We rented a powerful microscope -- hey, we spare no expense for you, our dear readers -- put samples of the germs under the microscope, and magnified them 5000 times. Here's what we found: Let's start with...

Flu

...and landed very, very badly.
("Shhh! It's trying to communicate.")
("Yeah, and it's saying, 'OUCH.'")

You've probably heard of e-coli:

Be careful around this one -- it makes you feel like crap.

I'll bet you think this is the common cold:

Well, it's not.

Most of us are familiar with Strep:

You know, the one that makes you a little hoarse?

And finally, there's Staphylococcus:

Which is the disease that killed Sigmund Freud.

(Actually, it's not. But wouldn't that have been deliciously ironic?)

We hope you've managed to avoid getting sick this winter, because no one wants these in real life, or in cake form.
(If you were "lucky" enough to get one of these, feel free not to share, m'kay?)

Let's spread thanks to Kara W., Tiffany W., Jan Y., Kerrie C., and Katie P., for their infectious senses of humor.

Wedding Is Believing

You all know we have a "professional cakes only" policy here at CW, but when it comes to wedding cakes that can be a tough call. See, apparently most of you wreckporters feel a little awkward accosting the bride and demanding to know if her baker actually considers himself a professional. (Cowards.)

So, today, I'll let you guys decide. These really are all wedding cakes served at actual weddings, and in many cases the photographers claim to believe the baker was paid. For your sanity, though, you may want to go on believing someone's Aunt Sally made them as a last-minute "favor."

Needs more rose petals.

Is that...meat? And more importantly: if your cake looks like a giant meat slab, wouldn't you think about maybe slapping some frosting over that sucker?

Aw, now that's a shame; if only they had a few more bunches of fake flowers you wouldn't have to see the cake and tinfoil at ALL.

Does anyone else get the feeling this should be rotating and spraying water out of the swan's mouths?

And speaking of water...

Mmm. Wet tissue paper.

Proof that there aren't enough gaussian blurs and hazy vignettes in the world to make a wreck look like a Sweet.

See?

(P.S. OH. MAH. GAWD.)

Thanks to Heather H., Michele T., Connie P., AG, Samantha B., Allli B., Jessica H., Zoe H., & Skye C., for providing nightmare fuel for future brides everywhere.

PS. Believe it or not, I actually DID wean out a few that were even worse than these, because, for example, the baker put the wedding cake on a rusty pie plate:

So I'm REALLY hoping that means it's homemade.

Still, the important thing to remember is that THIS IS A WEDDING CAKE.

And hey, put it on a regular cake board and I've totally seen worse.