The Bride And Groan

Today's post is dedicated to all the engaged couples out there. That's right, lovebirds, I thought we might take this opportunity to consider the most important cake of your entire lives: your wedding cake.

Now, I know I feature a lot of wedding wrecks, and I know a lot of folks will point out that asking for a fondant design recreated in buttercream is asking for disaster, but don't you worry. I'm here to help. After all, this is what Leah D. ordered for HER wedding cake:

And look what she got!

It's the tinfoil-covered cookie sheet that really sells it.

Ok, yes, it's a wreck. BUT - did you notice how the inspiration cake was all buttercream, and the wreck itself is fondant? I'm just sayin'. It works both ways.

Now, don't you feel better?

No?

Ok, then how about what Susan A. ordered for her wedding? 

Not a great picture (you don't see mimeographs much these days), but I think you get the general idea.

 And here's what Susan got:

Granted, I'm not sure how this is supposed to make you feel better, but trust me, guys: the REST of us are feeling grrrrr-REAT. (John! Go make some popcorn! These are gettin' GOOD.)

Sara M. wanted her wedding cake to be a hunk a' hunk a' burnin' love:

The cake! The cake! The cake is on FI-YUR!

But instead, her cake just suffered from a mild burning sensation and performance issues:

Wah-WAAAAH.

(That was my attempt at a slide-rule trombone effect. I know: I'm a veritable foley artist with words.)

And finally, Elizabeth P. dreamed a dream of ribbon-wrapped sweetness for her big day:

...but ended up with something only a mummy could love:

Ouch. Uh...that's a wrap!

Thanks to all of today's brides and just remember, guys: wreck or Sweet, we're gonna need to see your wedding cake! (Oh, and we're all invited, right? RIGHT?!)

*****

P.S. When you don't have a cake to express yourself, there's always this:

(Sorry I'm Late, I Didn't Want To Be Here T-shirt)

Comes in lots more colors and also mens' styles at the link.

*****

And from my other blog Epbot:

Sunday Sweets: A Black Tie Affair

You are cordially invited to feast your eyes on something a bit more refined today: fabulously formal cakes!

By Laura Stankis of JaCiva's

Please note: black tie required.

King Kong definitely got the memo; check out his tie and tux on this fun art-deco topper:

Ack! So cute. He's even color-coordinated with the cake's monogram:

By Gateaux Inc.

But as every Downtown Abbey fan knows, white tie is THE most formal of all evening wear, and to dress accordingly. You know, like this all-white wonder:

By We Bake In Heels

Just look at that painstakingly perfect piping!

Can polka-dots be elegant? You bet!

Submitted by Nicole S. & made by Sugar Bakers

It doesn't get more classic than black and white with red roses all over.

Hey, remember that time on Downton Abbey when Matthew was forced to wear a black tie to dinner, and everyone acted like he had just shambled in wearing a holey bathrobe and flip flops? Ha! So funny. (Um, this show is better than I'm making it sound, honest.)

By Sharon Wee Creations

Don't worry; I bet no one would ever mistake this beauty for a waiter.
(Mostly because that wouldn't make any sense, but still.)

Ok, back to more civil matters. Remember that time on Downton when that thing happened to that person, and everyone was, like, really shocked? (Jen says I'm not allowed to give any more spoilers, but YOU know what I mean.)

Well, I guess we can only hope the person who that thing happened to will come back later. You know, for a...cameo:

By Mina Bakalova

But not as a horse.
I guess we can only dream!

And while we're dreaming, imagine the look on Mr. Carson's face if Mrs. Patmore baked this stunning cake and hung it up in the dining room, chandelier-style!

Made by Gateaux for  Betty Crocker

That's right, this cake is actually hanging from the top, like a real chandelier. Or chandeTIER, as I like to say it. Cake joke! (I've never actually said that.)

But I do love the hexagon-shaped tiers of this next cake. Aren't the hand-painted doodles dreamy?
File this under 'fabulous!'

Sub'd by Kate K., made by Sweet & Saucy Shop

That's worthy of Lord and Lady Grantham's finest dinner party. I bet even Granny would approve.

Sorry. I'm totally done talking about Downton Abbey, I swear. Let's talk about this damask cake:

By Sugarland

Ain't no damasquerading, it's lovely!

And here's one last extravagantly fanciful cake to remind you to make the rest of your weekend an occasion. And maybe watch more reruns of Downton Abbey. Again.

Sub'd by Su-Anne & made by Cile Bellefleur Burbidge

WOW.

Also:
"What is a weekend?"
(Couldn't help it!)

Happy Sunday, everyone!

******

P.S. More pretties!

Sterling Silver Tulip Earrings

The purple ones are my favorite, love that color gradient.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot: