7 Reasons To Avoid The Bakery This Easter

7 Reasons To Avoid The Bakery This Easter:

- Those annoyingly cheerful Easter colors:

It's like they managed to bottle Spring.

- Saint Harry's Tinsel Toupees:

"For when your hair hasn't got a prayer!"

- REALLY Bad Eggs:

Drink up, me hearty, yo ho!

(You're gonna need it.)

- Professional Toddler Art:

Say what you will, but I find it admirable that someone is getting all these three-year-olds off the street and into real jobs.

- Mutant Pig Bunnies

Two words: Pork Hops.

For those of you who may bemoan the secularization of Easter:

Now aren't you glad they usually stick to bunnies?

(That supposedly says, "He Has Risen." Even worse, I think the red thing is supposed to be a cross.)

And finally:

- Ewe-Know-Who:

That's some shear terror, right there.

Thanks to Rachael J., Molly R., Lynaa W., Amanda S., Angelica C., Leah R., & Melissa M., who'd like to point out that THIS sheep Voldemort has a much better likeness, but I think she's just potty.

BONUS GIGGLE:

When bunnies play with portals:

"The cupcakes are a lie!"

*****

Spring means spring-cleaning, and this storage chain I featured a few years ago in Epbot's "10 Clever Ways To Display Plush Toys" is still a best-seller:

Toy Chain Organizer
You can use it to clip up toys, hats, scarves, gloves, greeting cards - anything lightweight you can fit a clip around. For under $20 it's a great way to use awkward spaces in closets, behind doors, or even swagged over a bed or desk.

3 Wedding Wrecks That Completely Missed The Mark

So many wedding wrecks happen when a bride asks for a fondant design made in buttercream - but what happens when it's the opposite, and they ask for a buttercream design made in fondant? LET'S FIND OUT.

Here's the buttercream design one bride ordered for her wedding:

She had a Fall theme, so her one stipulation: NO ROSES.

Which is kind of ironic, since the store-bought roses ended up being the best part!

Now if only the baker had purchased the whole cake from a store, am I right?

Oh! Hey! I just had a great idea:

1) Take orders

2) Give the orders to a real bakery

3) ???

4) PROFIT

Moving on....

You've got to love this gorgeous butterfly cake. GOT TO.

Adrianna M. certainly did, and ordered one just like it for her wedding - albeit with a few color changes.

o.0

Not sure which colors you asked for, Adrianna, but I'm seeing red.

And finally, Janice H. submitted her daughter's wedding cake with the plea, "Please! Stop laughing. IT STILL HURTS."

Yep, the wedding was just a few months ago, so let's try to be respectful of the lady's pain, ok, guys?

Ok. Here goes:

They ordered this style in purple, with gold ruffles:

So if you're wondering what the dirty spot near the bottom is, that's the "gold" part:

OUCH.

[biting lip]

[eye twitching]

I'm... I'm not laughing, Janice. I'm NOT.

I can't speak for the rest of these yahoos, though. Tch. SO RUDE.

Thanks to Patty S., Adrianna M., & Janice H. for the bridal tiers.

*****

P.S. Now that I've inflicted all that pain, here's something to make you feel better:

Shiatsu Shoulder Massager

Ever since I bought this shoulder massage 2 years ago everyone who's tried it has turned into a puddle of contented goo, and refused to move 'til it shut off. My Disney puppeteer friends are its biggest fans; people using and wrecking muscles most of us don't even know we have. I keep buying more of these as gifts!

This massager can actually bruise if you're not careful; it's got serious power for even rock-hard knots, and you can use it on your entire back. (I hold it diagonally to get below the shoulder blades, and around my waist for the lower back.) Highly recommend!