Happy Birthday, White Guy!

Sarah C. writes, 

"I was answering a hundred questions while ordering the cake for my husband, Guy's, birthday.

'Cake?'

'Yellow.'

'Icing?'

'Buttercream.'

'What do you want it to say?'

'Happy Birthday, Guy.'

'What color do you want that written in?'

'White.'

"When I went back to pick it up, the woman at the bakery - who wasn't the decorator - gave me a strange look."

And I think I see why:

"And all the fishes say I'm pretty fly for a (White) Guy!"

Thanks to Sarah C., who agrees that (White) Guy is looking awful green.

*****

P.S. I tried to find a good birthday gift for a white Guy, and I think this is the clear winner:

Non-Stick Grill Mats

We all know a Guy with a BBQ, right? You get five teflon mats and a silicone brush set for $13 Prime, and these are a best-seller with RAVE reviews. Apparently you still get the lines from the grill on your steak or chicken, but none of the mess!

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

A Publix Service Announcement

Dear Publix Bakery,

My name is john, and we need to talk.

See, I like you. I really do. Your icing? Awesome. Your cheesecake pies? Beyond nummy. And every time I cruise your aisles at my local store there's nary a wreck to be found.

UNTIL NOW.

Exhibit A: A few weeks ago, I received a picture of your new "Cinnamon Candy Creme Cake":

AKA, "The Sticky Pustule Bundt of DOOOOM! Now with more Herpes!"

Now don't get me wrong, PB. (Can I call you PB? 'Cuz I'm gonna call you PB.) Every bakery has an off day. But then I got a few more of these Pustule Poppin' pastries, and I started wondering: is this going to be a "thing?"

A nasty, nasty "thing?"

Just to be sure, I went to my local Publix - my own flesh and blood, so to speak - and imagine my horror, PB, when I found this on the featured end cap:

NooOOoooOOoo!

So here's what I propose, PB: You stop making the polyp'ed wonder here, and I'll stop thinking how much it reminds me of my dermatologist's office posters.

Deal?

Thanks to Marlissa D. and Amanda G. for reminding to wear sunscreen today. And to always use protection. And to maybe have a salad for lunch.

*****

P.S. Never in my wildest fever dreams would I think my goofy little cake blog would educate me this thoroughly on "pimple patches." Have y'all heard of these?

The Original Mighty Patch

I thought these were basically camouflage stickers, ha, but apparently they're much better than that. Click on the customer photos at your own risk, but dang, fascinating stuff!

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot: