The 10 Stages Of Wrecky Trick-Or-Treating

The 10 Stages Of Handing Out Candy To Trick-Or-Treaters

As Illustrated With Halloween Cake Wrecks

Stage 1:

"AWWWWW lookit the cute costumes on all the cute bebies! CANDY FOR EVERYONE."

Stage 2:

"Wow there are a lot of you."

Stage 3:

"A 5-year-old Deadpool just kicked me but this is fine, everything's fine."

Stage 4:

"WHAT IF WE RUN OUT OF CANDY?"

Stage 5:

"You get two pieces each AND THAT'S FINAL."

Stage 6:

"This is my life now."

Stage 7:

::obsessively looking between the clock and the candy bowl::

Stage 8:

"I AM SO SORRY PLEASE DON'T TP MY HOUSE."

Stage 9:

"They TP'd my house."

Stage 10:

::cracks open secret stash of chocolate and plops down to watch Ghostbusters::

BEST. HALLOWEEN. EVER.

Thanks to Anne H., Deon M., Meg M., Jessica A., Kaitlin K., Mariah E., Hillary, M.M., Savannah G., & Tara W. for the wrecky treats. Oh, and I've never actually had my house TP'd; my generous candy distribution is both fear-based and extremely effective. :D

*****

P.S. Friendly reminder:

Punctuation Saves Lives

:D

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

Come For The Hippo, Stay For The Barbarian Cream

Guys, if you ever want a 3D sculpted cake like this:

...and your baker claims she can make a cupcake cake (patooie!) look just like it, DO NOT BELIEVE HER.

On the plus side, I hear hippo skin rugs are all the rage now in child therapy sessions.

 ***

They asked for a book cake of The Great Gatsby:

NAILED IT.

 ***

You know, when *I* was a kid they didn't have all these new-fangled flavored fillings:

***

"Ok, ma'am, your cake has room for three lines of text."

"Great! I'd like 'Mazel Tov' on the first line, and 'Sara Rose' on the second."

"And for the third line?"

"Oh, just leave that blank."

***

Apparently Jennifer K's husband never gets her anything for their anniversary, so for the big 10 she got him a cake. That said this:

I really shouldn't be finding this so funny, should I?

 ***

"Hey, guys, is 'give up' all one word?

Is there a dash?

How do you spell it, again?

Is this right?

How about now?

OH FORGET IT."

Mmmm, sweet irony.

Thanks to Disireah, Tonianne, Allie P., Deena M., & Anony M. for reminding us to never give up, NEVER SURRENDER.

*****

P.S. Now that it's *almost* scarf weather in Florida let me show you my new favorite find:

The CVS Receipt Scarf

Y'all. It's soft, it goes with everything, and it's a giant CVS receipt. Talk about the best reveal when someone compliments your look!

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot: