The Gift Of Encouragement

I remember the first time I told my Mom the publisher wanted me to go on a book tour for Cake Wrecks. She responded by telling me about an author she'd seen at a big warehouse store the previous weekend, sitting alone behind a card table and looking desperate.

"I just don't want that for you," she said.

...

Motherly concern aside, you could say my mom has a real gift for encouragement.

Kind of like these people:

"Oh, and happy engagement. I guess."

This is your moment. Enjoy it.

Q: What do you get the birthday girl who's allergic to birthday cake?

A: A birthday cake with an apology. ("More cake for us! Woot!")

As we get older, we look for signs from our loved ones that age is really just a number, it's about staying young at heart, etc, etc.

"Well, sure, NOW I am."

And there's nothing quite so encouraging as ill-concealed shock at your personal accomplishments:

"We had you guys pegged at two years, tops. Wow!"

And finally:

"Note that we haven't expressed any sadness over this fact, or stated whether Kyle is happy regarding his imminent departure. However, the fact that we're having cake would seem to indicate a celebration of Kyle's coming absence."

"Wow, you got all that from four words?!"

"No, I'm reading the card."

Thanks to Edmund H., Rachael G., Kim K., Sarah C., G.D., & Kyle C. for the encouraging words.

*****

Oh hey, this seems like a good time to remind you this exists:

Cake Wrecks, THE BOOK

It's totes hilarz, and I don't say things like "totes hilarz" in it even once.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

Ow.

Presenting the world's most painful landing:

Or perhaps the world's most unfortunately shaped, colored, and placed mat logo.

Either way, I'm sure it made a real splash on the audience.

Beth C., would you care to join me in a casual crossing-of-the-legs?

*****

P.S. This seems relevant somehow:

Cards Against Humanity Period Pack

It’s an expansion pack for Cards Against Humanity, "best played every 25 to 35 days." :D

Oh, and if you don't know what Cards Against Humanity is, the tagline is "a party game for horrible people," which is really all you need to know.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot: