"Smack That Shiz" Is My New Favorite Saying

Stacey had a flowery paper plate she wanted her cake to match, so she brought it in to her bakery and asked them to use it as a reference for the decorations.

Unfortunately, what her baker heard wasn't so much "use this as a color/flower reference" as it was "Take this plate, cram it in the photocopier, print it on edible paper, and smack that shiz on some cake. But be sure to place it at a super weird angle, so it looks wrong no matter which way it's facing.
Yes, really. This is exactly what I want you to do."

Do I even need a drum roll anymore? Tell you what, instead, just imagine more of an "angry chickens thwacking you in the face" kind of sound. Seems more apropos.

Anyhoo... BEHOLD:

[sniff] It's.. IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL.

Thanks to Stacey W., who promises to glare at any and everyone who chimes in to say at least the border icing matches. YOUR MOVE, COMMENTERS.

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Because some days call for more than coffee:

"Probably Whiskey" Enamel "Coffee" Mug

(The listing really does have "coffee" in quotation marks, ha!)

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And from my other blog, Epbot:

On The Plus Side, It's Never Too Soon To Introduce Your Five-Year-Old To Power Point

If you've been hanging around this blog for a while, then you probably remember the infamous Flash Drive wreck.

That's the one where someone brought in a photo on a flash drive, but instead of using the photo, the bakery recreated the flash drive itself on the cake. It's one of the most epic Cake Wrecks of all time, and taught us all a valuable lesson about the boundless nature of human derpitude.

I'm guessing Matthew here missed the flash drive post, though, because not only did he bring one in for his daughter's fifth birthday cake, he also had more than one photo on the drive.

In Matthew's defense, there were only two images on the drive to choose from: one, his daughter's favorite cartoon character, and the other, a Power Point flow chart from his company.

I'll give you two guesses which one the bakery used.

Aw, you guessed it, didn't you? See, I just can't surprise you guys anymore.

Thanks to Matt M. & little Gia for proving a Communication Network Decision Tree can be just as magical as Disney princesses, only the exact opposite of that.

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This made me laugh, and seems appropriate with today's decision-making process:

A Horrible Idea Graphic Tee

It comes in 15 different colors, hit the link to see them all.

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And from my other blog, Epbot: