Snickering Really Satisfies

Finally, minions - at long last!
A candy cake wreck to rival the great Hershey Kiss-And-Yell debacle of 2013!

Here, let me set this up for you.

This is what Jill wanted for her friend Becky's retirement party:

Only, you know, as a cake.

It didn't even have to be shaped like the candy bar; just rectangular and with the same design and colors, so people got the overall Snickers vibe.

You know how the commercials claim Snickers makes you less grumpy?

Let's hope Jill had a looooot of candy bars on hand when this was served.

o.0

At first I thought it was a camo cake going for a patriotic theme. (I mean, it's green.)

Then I actually read Jill's e-mail.

Then I may have done one of these:

It's the little things, minions. The little, hysterically wrong things.

Thanks to Jill H. for reminding us snickering really satisfies.

*****

Not chocolate related, but LOOK at these adorable candy balloons:

18" Candy Balloons, 21 Pc Set

You get 21 for $11, and I love the metallic stripes. These make me want to plan a Willy Wonka or Honeydukes party for when we can have parties again.

******

And from my other blog, Epbot:

Barbie Hurl

Here are a few tips for making the "perfect" doll cake.

- This is totally acceptable for a Groom's Cake:

No, really. She's got panties on, so it's cool.

- When making a doll dress cake, go for icing colors every little girl loves:

Specifically, the colors of despair and gnawing ennui.

- If your doll needs a bodice, be sure to pipe something fashionable and delicate:

- And while you're at it, try to make the cake part look more like a skirt, and less like an alien egg devouring the prom queen in a B-rated horror movie.

"Oh, Trevor, why did we go skinny-dipping in that cemetery at midnight? WHYYYYY??"

- If dress cakes are too intimidating, remember there's always this option:

Just keep it classy, minions.

(Good grief, it's like that bottle of tequila has never seen a Barbie upchuck before. I mean, hello, personal space, Jose!)

Hey, remember that traumatizing tunnel scene in the original Willy Wonka?
Pretty sure this is the cake version:

There's no earthly way of knowing
How much flotsam they were throwing
There's no knowing where we're going
Or any sign the wrecks are slowing!

Oh wait, that's not really a tip, is it? Hmm. Ah, ok, I've got one:

- Don't do this.

I should warn you: this next tip features a Barbie cake that is not professionally made. I repeat, NOT professionally made. But as a public service, I feel I have to share it anyway.

- Never ask your drunk roommate to make you a Barbie cake:

"Let's light this candle, b**ches!!"

(It made me laugh. WHAT.)

But to go out on a professional note:

- Nobody puts Barbie in a corner.

She'll just sit there. Waiting. And watching.

Right, that's it for me! Y'all sleep well tonight.

Thanks to Erica D., Stephanie H., Bridget B., Kristie S., Lori, Luise D., Criss N., & Sarah W. for both the wide-eyed nightmare fuel and ALL the sprinkles. ALL OF THEM.

*****

P.S. Today's product had me at "Hardcore Toilet For Wrestling Action Figures"

Hardcore Toilet For Wrestling Action Figures

So how do you wrestle an action figure with a toilet? No idea. But going by all the customer review photos, this is Barbie's #1 choice to barf sprinkles into.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot: