Trace Amounts Of Wreckage

Remember those old drawing contests they used to advertise in the backs of magazines? The ones with a picture of a turtle or a pirate you were supposed to copy?

Well, Melissa decided to try that route with her bakery. She gave them this picture of a frog and asked them to copy it:

Aaaand...

Ouch.

Don't worry though, bakers; I still see artistic potential here. In fact, if you send me money every month I'll continue critiquing your work FOR FREE. Eh?

And if you believe that one, here's another:

Samira ordered this giant cupcake (made of smaller cupcakes and apparently photographed with a potato), and here's the crazy thing: she was told she would actually GET that cake.

Bahahahaha!

I'm sorry. I shouldn't laugh. It's just, I've seen the next picture.

Ready?

Sha-POW.

Seriously, minions, don't order cupcake cakes (patooie!) - and never EVER order a cupcake cupcake cake. I think it breaks the space time continuum.

And lastly, Kristy gave her bakery this napkin to match for a baby shower cake:

The bakery then did something I've never seen before.

That's right, you guys, this is a first!

The bakery started with an edible image - which looked fine - but then traced over the image with icing, resulting in the kind of nightmare fuel you don't generally see outside of Five Nights At Freddy's:

The longer you look, the scarier it gets.

Plus I like how the baker just stopped about 80% of the way through. Like, "WHELP THAT'S RUINED, guess I'll just leave the palm leaves and border and donkey face off now." o.0

Thanks to Melissa G., Sarah H.,& Kristy H. for reminding there is ALWAYS a new way to wreck it. Always.

*****

P.S. While we're talking baby showers, here's a timely reminder:

Punctuation Saves Lives

:D

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

LET'S RUIN SOME BIRTHDAYS

BIRTHDAYS, am I right? They're just so... predictable. Every year like clockwork, the same old parties, the same cracks about getting old, the same legal notices advising you the restraining orders issued by your favorite boy band are still in effect...

Bah.

So I say, if you can't beat 'em, make them worse for everyone else.

Like this!

Does it help or hurt that her name is Penny? Asking for a friend. Whose name is Penny.

You know how people love it when you call attention to their seasonal allergies?

Boo to the Ya.

("See, it's funny, because your health is poor and that constant sniffing annoys the rest of us! Did you get that? Oh, you did? Cool. Just wanted to make sure. )

I'll be honest, I don't think Willow needed to know this:

SO I APPROVE.

Now Willow, you can retaliate with THIS:

Bonus: this could be botched "cheapskate" OR it could be calling Kate cheap. Either way, I think we ALL come out winners here.

And finally, for those times when the words "You're a horse's a$$, Dad" just aren't enough:

There's this.

Or is that a donkey butt?

WAIT... no. Could it be? Is that...

Is that an ass's a$$?

YESSSSS. So is it like when you say someone is a "real man's man"? Meaning Dad here is a "real ass's a$$?"

I'm tearing up. It's so beautiful.

Thanks to Brandi D., Maryann S., Anony M., Jeannette M., & Anony T. who think I'm ridiculous for censoring one a$$ but not the other. Yes, yes I am. Now, bottom's up!

*****

P.S. In case your life was missing a set of cat butt magnets, I found you some:

Cat Butt Magnets

You're welcome.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot: