Where There's A Will

It's Talk Like Shakespeare Day!

So, instead of making Much Ado About Wrecking, we're just going to let the Bard himself insult the cakes.

 

"They lie deadly that tell you you have good faces."
- Coriolanus

 

"Thou art a boil, a plague sore, an embossed carbuncle in my corrupted blood."
- King Lear

 

"I shall laugh myself to death at this puppy-headed monster!"
- The Tempest

 

"Thy food is such
As hath been belch'd on by infected lungs."
- Pericles

 

"Thou lump of foul deformity!
Out of my sight! Thou dost infect my eyes."
- Richard III

 

"I wonder that you will still be talking. Nobody marks you."
- Much Ado About Nothing

 

"A knave; a rascal; an eater of broken meats; base, proud, shallow...

 

 

"...beggarly, three-suited, hundred-pound, filthy, worsted-stocking knave; a lily-livered, action-taking knave, a whoreson...

 

"... glass-gazing, super-serviceable finical rogue; one-trunk-inheriting slave, one that wouldst be a bawd, in way of good service, and art nothing but the composition of a knave, beggar, coward, pandar, and the son and heir of a mongrel bitch...

"... one whom I will beat into clamorous whining, if thou deniest the least syllable of thy addition."

- King Lear


Wow. Uh, thanks, Will. I couldn't have said it better myself.

 

I can no other answer make but thanks, and thanks, and ever thanks to Elisabeth T., Kimberly L., Alexandra D., Mallie R., Amy P., Rebecca C., Jennifer S., Libby W., Alison, and Talley. Fair befall you!

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Princess: Impossible

In honor of National Princess Week, I've arranged to have some of the world's most famous royalty come and visit! Woot woot!

But then they all canceled, so we got these instead:

YIKES.

 

I mean, uh, won't you say hello, ladies?

"I DON'T LIKE YOU."

 

[silent glare]

 

"Life is awful, and then you die.
"....Happy birthday."

 

Ohhhh kaaay...

Oh, but look! I think Ariel made it, after all!
To think, she swam all this way just to wish you aAAAAAUUUGHH!!

[climbing off floor]
[adjusting hair]

Well, I guess we should just try to make the best of things.

Play us off, Hell's Belles!!

[heavy metal intro plays]

"Tale of cakey crime!

[JUDJUDJUDJUD]

"Cruel as it can be!"

"Curse these princess trends!

[YOWWWW!]

"When will it all end?!"

[music slows]

"Someoooone call
aaa
priiieeeeest!"

 

Thanks to Colleen W., Kerry Z., Anja H., Amanda S., Cassie S., Jennifer F., Lesley W., & Crista C. for the fairy tale rending.

*****

Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.