Play 'Em Off, Drummer Boy

Preeeeesenting a sweet moment between Mr. & Mrs. Claus!

Oh, ick! What is going ON here? Hey, Drummer Boy! Could you play them off, please?

Uh. You're not the Drummer Boy.

"Nope. Sorry. But look! I'm on SALE! And if you like, I can play a little ditty on this here carrot-kazoo of a nose."

Yeeeah. Thanks, but no. Ok, let's move on to Santa's right-hand reindeer...

Jumping poo-streaked gingerbread, what is THIS? Drummer Boy, seriously, get in here and play this guy off.

[frantic whispering]

What? A substitute? Well, I guess, if that's all you've got...

What the...seriously? I ask for the little drummer boy, and you give me a "LiltLe Drum Set"? And how are two crossed matchsticks a drum set anyway?

[shaking head in disgust] Ug. Well, we have one more entry today...

Oh.

Oh, dear.

Yes, my friends, I'm afraid Zwarte Piet has reared his ugly, ugly head again this year. However, I think I've more than said my piece on him, so...

Drummer Boy? Are you finally ready? Oh, good. Please, proceed.

YeeAAAAaaaah! Haha! Embrace the irony.

If this post made no sense to you whatsoever, you might want to take a look at this. (Be aware some of the clips in that vid contain unfortunate accidents.) And if that still doesn't help, then I owe John five bucks.

Thanks to David G., Sara K., Adriana B., Kim R., Malorie M., & Sondra D., for snaring these awesome Wrecks.

Make Today Marry

Marry who, you ask?

Why, marry Christmas, of course!

And going by this next cake, I'm guessing "Christmas" is a small plush snowman:

Although that giant smear of icing does make you wonder what it *used* to say.

Here they got "Merry" right, but....

(Correction: I meant to say "however." So stop looking at me like that.)

Here's an interesting one:

"Alue"?

[blink blink]

Yeah, I got nuthin'.

If you've been reading this blog for any length of time, then you know how important it is to get those writing and grammar skills ingrained at a young age.

Like so.

Now, it IS Christmas, so I'm afraid the big guy has to make an appearance:

And I am so, so sorry.

He does come bearing greetings, however.

Although if you misspell "Christmas," then he's going to go all stony faced.

Still, I can't think of a better harbinger of Christmas cheer than a really, really constipated Santa:

Dude. Nick, seriously, try a little coffee or something. I think you're about to put the "pop" in "apoplexy."

Well, happy Christmas, my dear Wreckies! Oh, and Krystle M., Michelle I., Jane K., Travis P., Sarah, Merideth S., Nils T., & Lisa H., also don't forget the importance of proper fiber intake. Just sayin'.

- Related Wreckage: In So Many Words