The All-Male Wreck Review

[Note: Mildly risque jokes & images ahead. And one banana hammock.]

We all live in fear of an embarrassing photo popping up on Facebook, but it turns out there's an even WORSE place for those best-forgotten candids to turn up:

Your birthday cake.

(And, ok, yeah -  then on an internationally-known blog about bad cakes, but still.)

I used to think edible photos were the worst invention since the Steering Wheel Desk, but that was before I realized their true purpose:

Humiliating drunk guys who take their clothes off.

 Yep, edible images are the best thing to happen to passive-aggression since the Post-It note. How else can you get back at the guy who showed up early, drank all the Zima, and then passed out in your mom's favorite arm chair and peed himself? 

Remember, revenge is a dish best served iced - and there is a lot of icing...IN CAKE.

I would comment on the misspellings, but it's hard to concentrate with big nipples staring you in the face.

Which I guess explains why employers block so much of the Internet at work, huh? 

(HEYO.)

 Of course, not all guys need alchohol to get a little frisky in front of the camera:

Must. Not. Make. "Horny." Joke...

And once you hit your ninety-something-th birthday, I know exactly what you want to see:

Not bad, not bad...but can we get some kind of a wild cat in here? And maybe a mullet?

Purrrfect.

I feel like we're straying off the drunken path, though. See, what we *really* need is something with a clown wig, a little Crisco, and a HUGE...

...oh. Rats.

Ok, never mind.

Thanks to Angie B., Kimberly E., Julie C., Christy M., Stacey H., Sarah T., Katherine M. & Aaron for the full Monte Crisco. It was delicious.

What Happens in Vagueness

Reading a wreck can be like deciphering code. Except it's a code where the sender doesn't necessarily know what she's saying, either.

Some are easy:

Yup.

Others take a little more work:

No.

(Do we need to go over this again?)

And some are downright inscrutable:

That settles it: No more caffeine for Mary.

Now, this clearly says "CoNgrat's Spr 2K9 Noo of the Theta Tall of Kappa Alpha Psi To be Kontrua."

But it's all Greek to me.

(Well, half Greek. All inexplicable, half Greek.)

So in conclusion,

My thoughts exactly.

Thanks to Missie S., Megan B., Tina H., Jessica R., and Jeremy N., for helping us clear that up.