Swing and a Miss

NOTE: Today's post may not be appropriate for young children who understand double entendres.

Look, I'm not going to say I'm proud of what I first saw when I looked at this cake, butt...

Ok, I'm a little proud.

Also, dad's ball seems a little low.

Speaking of which, go ahead: tell me this placement wasn't intentional:

And maybe I'm out in left field here, but don't you usually tend to see this kind of thing around third base?

Still, at least that baker has actually seen a baseball bat before. This one seems to have confused it with some kind of joystick:

And in related news, something something "some kind of joystick."

See? These jokes practically write themselves.

Ah. I see the force is strong with this one:

Show off.

Also, is that a Chef's hat, or a pile of poo? 'Cuz I can't make heads or tails of it.

And finally, men, do you experience a burning sensation when you go?

...to bat, I mean? Go to bat?

Thanks to Adria P., Amy U., Stephanie D., A. R., Denise H., and V.D. for that last joke.

Tickled Pink

Here in the good 'ol US of A, pretty much everything gets its own holiday. Got a toothache? February 9th is your day! Like air? So do I! Let's celebrate together on November 11th, National Air Day! And if anybody needs me on September 16th, I'll be enjoying National Stay Away From Seattle Day by, uh, continuing to live in Florida.

So anyway, today is National Pink Day, and by gosh, we're going to celebrate it - both the color *and* the singer. Why, you ask? Same reason we climb mountains: too much free time and we're crazy. DUH.

Hit it!

I think I just lost my talent
I don't know where it went.
Good thing I have this necklace
And lots of pink fondant:

Na-na-na-na na-na na
That's not even real fondant. (Ha!)

I got a brand new airbrush
I hope I'm using it right:

These sprinkles are giving me trouble,
Let's tuck 'em out of sight:

Na-na-na-na na-na na
That cake is out of sight!

Meh, so what?
I'm still a Wreck Star
I got my wreck moves
And I don't need yooouu.. except to buy my cakes.
And maybe not complain to my manager.

So...um...yeah.

[scuffing toe and avoiding eye contact]

Next verse!

The shower cake's on the table
I'm sure it'll be a hit:

This one may look like a sphincter,
But what else rhymes with "hit?"

Na-na-na-na na-na na
Something that rhymes with "hit!"

Meh, so what?
That'll buff out:

And four legs are so "out":

And Nicki is gooonnnaaa die!

Na-na-na-na na-na na

But pink makes it all alright!

Happy Pink Day, y'all.

Thanks to Rachel T., Amy U., Heather L., Sara H., Holly E., Brenda M., Sherry L., & Natalie W. for getting that song stuck in our heads. I'll just be over here humming It's a Small World for a while.