Good Neighbors

Jen and I live in a... diverse neighborhood. Lots of families, a few older folks, the occasional renter and/or drug dealer. Your basic American street. But my favorite has to be the family that lives a few doors down and entertains us each night at the top of their lungs. So today, I give you:

Things I hear while taking out the trash at two in the morning
(I put all the dialogue in extra large bold font to help you really appreciate the experience.)

"Put a diaper on that girl, Jimmie!"

"BILL! BILL!!! IF WE DON'T LEAVE BY 3AM ALL THE FISH WILL BE GONE!!! BILLLLLL!!!"

"PRECIOUS! PREEEE-CIOOOOUS! COME INSIDE. HERE BOY. C'MERE. C'MON. C'MERE. C'MERE, BOY." (Stepping just out of the door and raising voice even more) "PRECIOUS! GET IN HERE NOW!"

"You want Cheez-Whiz on your hotdog?"

"So I says to her, hey, for two hundred bucks it had gosh durn BETTER be real yak hair."

"GOSH DANGIT, MONTU GOT DOWN THE DRAIN AGAIN. CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, BILL!"

"NOPE, NEVERMIND; SHE'S JUST OUT IN THE YARD. MONTU, BABY! COME BACK! NO, DON'T GO IN THE NEIGHBOR'S WINDOW! BAD BOA! BAD!!"

Thanks to Elena P., Jill T., Lawanda J., Rahman C., Colleen M., Pamela S., & Hannah C. for being neighborly.

Sunday Sweets: Boredom Busters

Bored? How can you possibly be bored? School's only been out three weeks!

Well, why don't you read a book?

(By Charm City Cakes)

You said you wanted to finish the Harry Potter series this summer. You can borrow my copies.

(Spoiler alert: Voldemort did it.)

(I am SO funny.)

Weren't there some songs you wanted to download? You could do that.

(By Queen City Bake Shop)

Oh, you already did?

Well, we could play Scrabble.

(Submitted by Ainsley B., and made by Cake Central user ToniRod)

No, I don't always win. Besides, everybody knows "syzygy" is a word.

Well, do you want to go on a bike ride?

(By ozcake) 

They're both flat? Uh, when were you going to tell us?

OK. Fine. Ummm, do you want to help me make cookies?

(By Creative Cakes by Julie)

No, sorry, we're out of chocolate chips.

Oh, I know, why don't you call some friends and go swimming?

(By Short and Sweets)

You could all have a picnic in the backyard afterwards,

(By My Two Sweetie Pies)

...and then we could set up a tent and you can have a sleepover.

(By Hilary Rose Cupcakes)

I'm sure you didn't actually hear wolves howling last night. It was the neighbor's dog. And the backyard is fenced.

No? Well, what about a movie? Does a movie sound good?

(By Cakes by Roselyn)

No, it has to be rated PG. We talked about this...

Look, I've given you a lot of fun options, and you've said no to all of them. I guess I can always find you some chores to do! I need help transplanting those seedlings.

(Submitted by Danette T., "sprout" toppers made by mimicafe Union)

And when's the last time you cleaned your room?

(By Mary Lazarides)

Well, at least make the bed. And see if you can find the dog's leash. And, Sweetie, Christmas was six months ago. Maybe it's time to put away the reinbear?

Sweetie? Where are y...?

Are you playing Minecraft again?

(By Sweet Disposition Cakes)

(That's 1,025 individually placed squares. WOW.)

Ok, but just thirty minutes. Then, your room!

Have a Sweet to nominate? Then send it Sunday Sweets [at] Cake Wrecks [dot] com!