July Wrecks Forth

"Ok, staff, July 4th is coming and we need new cake designs. I'm talking stuff that screams, 'AMERICA.'" [pointing] "Jackie, GO."

"Uh... butterflies?"

"I like it. Pat?"

"Maybe a gator-lookin' thing?"

"Smart thinking; we'll ride the dinosaur craze. Gail?"

"Um. Poo cupcakes?"

"We already make those, Gail."

"... with red, white, and blue sprinkles?"

"PERFECT.

"Wesley, my man! Give me something sexy."

"Ok, you're going to love this. Picture, if you will..." [jazz hands] "...FLOPPY WANG."

"Ooooh, EDGY.

"But just to be safe, you better stick to your burning trashcans."

"I told you, they're not..."

[Everyone all together] "Shut up, Wesley."

"Now, Sally, baby! Whaddaya got that screams 'AMERICA'?"

"It's like you're the only one who gets me, Sally."

Thanks to Anna S., Cassidy T., Madison W., D.E., Emma D., & Caroline and Elyse for the thumbs up.

*****

P.S. I texted John to ask if this t-shirt would offend anyone, because I feel like I have friends of all political persuasions who would wear it. John's reply was 2 solid minutes of guffaws, so I'm going with it:

"I Smell Hippies" T-shirt

*****

Looking for some craft inspiration? Check out our Epbot Craft Page for ideas and tutorials:

Even The Character Cakes Can't Handle 2020

I can't decide if it's refreshingly relevant or just depressing that bakers are making such accurate 2020 cakes, minions. Or am I the only one seeing myself in these?

The first person to say "rise and shine" gets a heel to the face.

Ah yes, the official facial expression of 2020. 

 Best worn while muttering, "Oh, of course, WHY AM I EVEN SURPRISED."

 That moment when you're super stressed and you KNOW eating cookies isn't going to solve anything... but you keep eating cookies anyway:

::chews faster::

When you start asking co-workers on Zoom if you look feverish:

"And then the rash gets REALLY weird over on my - hey, where'd you all go? ...guys?"

 And my personal favorite: what John and I look like on the couch every night:

Except John prefers his heels in a classic black.

Thanks to Becky H., DeLoris N., Jenna M., Mike K., & Grace R. for helping us celebrate that sinking sensation.

*****

Speaking of couch life, if you've ever wanted a photo-realistic pillow of a chocolate chip cookie, then YOU ARE IN LUCK:

Cookie Throw Pillow

I'd pair it with this Cookie Monster pillow for maximum cuteness.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot: