6 Signs Halloween Is Coming

There's a chill in the air, minions, and not just from your in-law's latest text.
Nope, Fall is here, and with it, all the classic signs:

- Bad Apples:

Seedy characters, no matter how you slice it.

- Rabid Pumpkins

ERMERGOURD, this is one pumpkin-spiced foam you'll want nothing to do with, trust me.

- Two girls in frilly skirts lying on the ground with their feet chopped off:

Yes, oddly specific, but I don't decide the signs; I just report 'em.

- Poop floating UPstream:

Eerie, isn't it?

- Black cats being sucked into whirling pea-soup vortexes:

That's a can't-miss sign, right there.

But the #1 way you know Halloween is coming?

Angry sperm.

Thanks to Sarah C., Ricky T., Isha J., Marisa S., Heather V., & Kristy T. for going with the flow.

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P.S. I don't usually buy seasonal t-shirts, but as the owner of a black cat, I can tell you this one's appropriate year-round:

Cat's Got Your Knife T-Shirt

Lots more colors at the link.

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And from my other blog, Epbot:

Cakes That Are Almost, But Not Quite, Entirely Unlike Pizza

October is Pizza Month, minions, so this is a great time to go over a few reminders.

 Ahem hem hem.

Bakers, repeat after me.

"Pizza crust is not shiny."


Bakers repeating en masse: "Pizza crust is not shiny."

"Pizza crust is not held aloft by piles of poop."

"Pizza crust is not held aloft by piles of poop."

"If people can't tell my cakes are supposed to be pizzas, then I should stop making pizza cakes."

"If people can't..."

Bakers' Spokesperson, interrupting: "But what if we printed the pizza on the cake?"

::brief silence::

"No."

"What if we make the cake a slice of pizza?"

"NO."

"What if we made the cake brownies instead of cake?"

"HOW IS THAT BETTER"

"Ok, ok, fine. We won't make pizza cake."

"Excellent! Wait. Why am I suddenly nervous?"

"BOOYAH!!!!"

::sigh::

"I'm out."

Thanks to Anony M.,  Robyn, Heidi L., Carole D., Anony M., & Bartley I., for giving us a hand. Also are those pickles? Because I would totally eat pickles on pizza. Just me? 

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Here's an extra toasty way to celebrate Pizza Month:

Double-Sided Pizza Throw Blanket

It's hard to put a price on a blanket that makes you believe you ARE a pizza, but apparently the going rate is about $27. :p

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And from my other blog, Epbot: