What Fresh Canned Fruit Cocktail Horror Is THIS?!

It's not even October, you guys, but bakers are already trying to scare us.

Fruit cocktail dumped on chocolate Tres Leches cake?
WHAT FRESH CANNED HORROR IS THIS?

And while we're bellowing rhetorical questions to the heavens...

The eyelashes. Why?
The head wound/toupee. Why?
The person who eventually paid money for this. WHYGAWDWHY

Ahem.

Brides-to-be, let's talk about putting a blood fountain under your wedding cake.
Specifically, let's talk about how you should NOT do that.

Granted, you almost don't notice the blood fountain under all the fake flowers, plastic staircases, feathers, and Mardi Gras beads - but unless Freddy Krueger is marrying the 80s, this is not a good thing.

The label says "Pumpkin Spice Cake," but Ashley wasn't fooled:

She knows "Poo-mpkin" Spice when she sees it!

And finally, here's my new favorite butchering of "you will be missed."

Judging by that splat behind the L, it's a shame the baker didn't.

Thanks to Joanna R., Brenna Z., Karen F., & Laurie - NOT "Lorie" - for the excellent wreckporting.

*****

I'm still laughing at my own joke about Freddy Krueger marrying the 80s, so let's keep that energy going with some Golden Girls Mad Libs:

The Golden Girls Mad Libs

 I just started watching Golden Girls for the first time ever (I don't know where I've been, but I'm guessing watching Star Trek) and I don't know if y'all knew this, but it's funny! :p

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

Sunday Sweets Goes Shopkins

I may be the last person on this particular bandwagon, but I was watching that new organizing show on Netflix when I heard Neil Patrick Harris mention "Shopkins" toys, so of course I had to google.

Y'ALL. Apparently my taste is in line with 2-6 year-olds (no surprise there) because these toys are so cute!

(Lori's Sweet Cakes, Canada)

Not only that, there are so many squee-worthy Shopkins cakes out there:

(Cake A Chance On Belinda, Tasmania)

C'mon. This is adorable even you don't know what Shopkins are, right?

Most Shopkins seem to be food:

(Twisted Sugar Cakery, Online)

Although there's also a random lipstick that's pretty popular:

(De La Creme Creative Studio, Missouri)

They're very Kawaii, with bright pastels and sweet cartoony faces:

(Little Cherry Cake Co, UK)
It's hard not to smile when you look at this!

I love the shading on this one:

(Cookie Vonster, Vancouver)

Each cookie is its own little painting!

And here's a cupcake castle:

(Rose Dream Cakes, California)

This popcorn might be my favorite:

(Crumbs and Candles, UK)

Or wait, maybe the cake?

(Mandy's Sweets, Florida)

These colors make me happy. :)

And finally, here's a gravity-defying design that really... ::sunglasses:: ... stacks up:

(Cakes By Raewyn, Australia)
Awwww yeah. So sweet!

I hope these made you smile, gang, and that your week is as sweet as a stack of Shopkins.

*****
I went looking for the actual Shopkins miniatures and was immediately overwhelmed. THERE ARE WAY TOO MANY, YOU GUYS. But look what else I found:

Adorable Shopkins Pillow Plushies! D'awwwwww.
Does anyone want us to redo their kids' room in Shopkins theme? I really want to build a big fruit cart/grocery mart play place full of these pillows.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot: