Christmas Creep-Off

It's a Christmas Creep-Off!

Hit us with your best shots, bakers!

Oooh, now that's creepy.

But this is creepier. [shudder]

AAAAAUUGHH!

I mean, er, points for finding a way to make a candy cane look like it's made from someone's collection of skin suits, bakers. That's... that's really something. [backs away slowly]

Hey, ever wonder what Richard Kind would look like with shaved eyebrows?

(This is Richard Kind.)

BEHOLD!

Yep, nailed it. So why am I terrified? How DO you do it, bakers?

Hey, ever had a reeeeally bad sunburn?

And then wanted to eat it?

Then this Christmas, YOU ARE IN LUCK.

0.o

K, I'm calling it: that's definitely the creepiest.

Thanks to Danica G., Patrick M., Robyn B., Sheri P., & Lindsay L. for the Christmas face-off. (Ew.)

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And from my other blog, Epbot:

FROSTED FEAR: The Snow Man Cometh

Someone...
is watching:

But it's not Santa.

He could be in your basement.
He could be in your room.
But most likely...

HE'S IN YOUR BAKERY.

"Diet soda? You know how bad that stuff is for you?"

So run, run, run, as fast as you can:

Because these snowmen:

are out
FOR BLOOD:

[Wilhelm scream]

There will be FIGHTS:

"Put 'em up, ya frosted flake!"

There will be PUNS:

"A-HA! Who's disarmed now, bee-yotch??"

And HEADS will ROLL:

"Little help here?"

"We'll bite your legs off!"

But mostly...

there will...

be...

TERROR.

At least until the hot cocoa is ready.
Then those suckers are goin' DOWN.

Thanks to Adria P., Mark H., Anony M., Cheyenne A., Jessie T., Andi L., Vanessa M., Bethany S., Tom B., and Dyan B., who are stockpiling flame throwers, just in case. (And don't worry, guys; I'll bring the marshmallows!)

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I just found the most delightfully wacky gift: it's a build-your-own-snowman that slowly melts at room temperature, so you can keep rebuilding it over and over:

"Let It Melt!" Snowman Kit

Be sure to browse the customer photos on this one, they're a riot. :P
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And from my other blog, Epbot: