FROSTED FEAR: The Snow Man Cometh
Someone...
is watching:
But it's not Santa.
He could be in your basement.
He could be in your room.
But most likely...
HE'S IN YOUR BAKERY.
"Diet soda? You know how bad that stuff is for you?"
So run, run, run, as fast as you can:
Because these snowmen:
are out
FOR BLOOD:
[Wilhelm scream]
There will be FIGHTS:
"Put 'em up, ya frosted flake!"
There will be PUNS:
"A-HA! Who's disarmed now, bee-yotch??"
And HEADS will ROLL:
"Little help here?"
"We'll bite your legs off!"
But mostly...
there will...
be...
TERROR.
At least until the hot cocoa is ready.
Then those suckers are goin' DOWN.
Thanks to Adria P., Mark H., Anony M., Cheyenne A., Jessie T., Andi L., Vanessa M., Bethany S., Tom B., and Dyan B., who are stockpiling flame throwers, just in case. (And don't worry, guys; I'll bring the marshmallows!)
*****
I just found the most delightfully wacky gift: it's a build-your-own-snowman that slowly melts at room temperature, so you can keep rebuilding it over and over:
There's a metaphor here for 2020, I just know it. Or think of all the profile picture potential!
Also be sure to browse the customer photos on this one, they're a riot. :P
*****
And from my other blog, Epbot:
