More Cliché Than A Cake Wreck

It's time to let sleeping dogs lie, to grab the bull by the horns, and to maybe leave the rest of the animals out of this, 'cuz now my cats are looking nervous.

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

So clearly this baker hates you.

When life gives you lemons:

...ask life, "but what's with the parsley?"

If the shoe fits...

...see your doctor.
(I've heard of fallen arches before, but yowie.)

This, too, shall pass.

(AW YEAH DOUBLE PUN!!)
(Ahem)

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again:

Because, after all:

Practice makes perfect.

Perfect.

Thanks to Nathan J., Megan J., Phreedom, Howard G., Susan R., & Anony M. for going against my express wishes and beating that dead horse. Will no one think of the animals?!

*****

So there I was, laughing at how B-Day sounds like bidet in my head and I wondered if Amazon had anything funny and bidet related and well…

Kama Pootra

This has been a glimpse into the mind of john (the hubby of Jen).

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

Horse (Non)Sense

Momma gave us this birthday tip
Her face stern, her hand on her hip
"When serving horse cake
"With this kind of face

"Well, sonny, don't give me no lip."

***

Gumdrop was gloomy and tense
Her flight was one filled with suspense

With wings on one side
No physics applied
But whoever said magic makes sense?

***

This pony gives no end of grief
Its texture defies all belief

Missing legs, is it now?
Should we call it a cow?
Because wow does it look like ground beef.

***

Ted is a unicorn with sass
His friends like to say he's a gas

The life of the party
Whenever he's farty
And rainbows shoot out of his a$$

Thanks to Amanda L., another Amanda, Brio G., & Sarah L. for finding everyone's next birthday cake request. Take note, bakers: Rainbow-Farting Unicorns for EVERYBODY!

*****

P.S. FINALLY. I thought I'd never find a natural segue for these!

Unicorn Poop Earrings

Don't stop believing, y'all. Dreams do come true.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot: