Cheesy, Old, And Of Course, NSFW

I feel like this could apply to a few of you:

It's for your own safety, really. A cake a day keeps the road rage away!

***

Bakers are forever amazing me with their new decorating techniques.
For instance, did you know it's possible to pipe with semi-congealed Velveeta?

I mean, not well, but there it is!

***

Now let's all give a wave (heyooo) to the world's oldest Canadian Flag:

Or to the baker who literally thought this was what Barbara wanted.

***

I'll be honest, minions: this cake Mary J. ordered was a bit of a mess:

Great perplexing piles of pastel piping, Batman!

Yes, that's the one she wanted.

Still, what Mary ended up with was definitely worse:

Ew, Batman! Just... ew.

And finally, let's talk about these "tiger stripes" on a one-year-old's birthday cake, and how they might give "Sydni Is A Wild One" a whoooole new meaning:

Just me? And Danielle? Are we the only ones seeing this?

S'ok, Danielle; my lips are sealed.

Thanks to Jamie H., Alex A., Barbara T., Mary J., & Danielle D. for the walk on the vagina side.

*****

P.S. I hear it's cold where some of you are. Need a new sweatshirt?

Novelty Fleece-Lined Hoody Sweatshirts

These ALSO make me happy, ha. There are lots more designs to choose from, but trust me, I picked the best two. :D
(Heads up: apparently these run 2 sizes too small.)

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

Mangled

You know that song from Tangled that always makes you cry?

This isn't that song.

[Spotlight on a single, burly baker]

It's delicious, creamy, dairy
I use so much it's scary

And design-wise, my cakes are not the neatest.

But with lots of yummy gook
There are flaws you'll overlook!

That's why I always pile on the sweetness.

Can't you see me at the counter making those hearts?
Piping on the icing in thick streams

Though it may look kinda deadly
As it sits there, swirling redly.
My motto's always been "More Buttercream!"

[chorus line of baker emerge from the shadows]

More Buttercream!
More Buttercream!

See, it's really quite as viscous as it seems!

Don't know what to call this creature
But more frosting is a feature!

I'll always choose to use more buttercream.

[second baker steps to mic]

It's got scars and lumps and bruises
Plus something here that oozes:

But still, to me, it's burger cake perfection

And despite handwriting woes
Frosting piles + Oreos

Will be enough to sell this sweet confection.

Can't you see this at your wedding, little ladies?
All the frosting hides the fact it leans.

Yes, I'm preaching to the choir
When I say, "Pile it higher!"
I always tell the bride,
"More Buttercream!"

More Buttercream!
Lick that lid clean!

And I know some of you think this is extreme!

Though our cakes leave stomachs screaming
There's a child inside you beaming

'Cause secretly you want more buttercream.

Yes, secretly you want more buttercreeeeeeam!

Thanks to Shannon S., Layla C., McKenzie R., Sarah, Jennifer, Heather M., Monica M., Anony M., Charity, & Maggie L. for living the dream, Cake Wrecks style.

*****

If you just sang that entire post, then this tee is for you:

The Snuggly Duckling T-Shirt

I can't decide which color I like best; it also looks awesome on purple.

******

And from my other blog, Epbot: