Head Scratchers

Fellow wreckies, you will never in a million yearsbelieve what this cake is supposed to be: 

Go on. Try to guess. I'll wait.

[whistling]

Ready?

Did you guess a buck-toothed snake?

Did ya? Did ya didyadidyahuh?

'Cuz that's not it.

Here, I'll give you a hint. It's the same thing THESE are supposed to be:

(Pay no attention to my snazzy photoshopping; I had to take out a piece of flotsam that might give it away.)

So now you're wondering what a buck-toothed eel has to do with a leprechaun's pots of gold.

Good question.

Ah - but the plot is about to thicken!

Much like these mashed potatoes.

And yes, this is also the same thing those other things are supposed to be.

Ok, if you haven't figured it out by now, here's the clincher:

All clear now?

No?

Ok, ok, then THIS one will do it for sure:

Or maybe I'm just messing with your head.

Aheh.

Heheh.

Aha.

Aha-ha!

AHAHAHAA!

MWUA-HAHAHAHAAA!!!

(So that's, you know, coming along.  I've been working with a vocal coach. Which, come to think of it, doesn't make much sense when I TYPE everything...)

Thanks to Zack Z., Jayme H., Jason C., Colin G., & Melissa K. for the boot to the heads.

(Nyaa-nyaaa!)

Don't Do Drugs, Kids. Seriously.

So there's a brand new cake design in town, and it's, well...

... confusing.

At first I thought it was just some leftover Batman flotsam running wild amongst the New Year's party hats.

Then I thought maybe the "party hats" were supposed to be some kind of psychedelic twin sunsets.

Then I gave up.

You guys kept sending these things in, though, demanding answers - or at least a healthy dose of mockery - which eventually led me to realize that most of you were taking your pictures upside down.

That's when things REALLY started coming together:

See? Now it's so obvious! They're mustachioed garden gnomes in straight jackets! DUH.

Just kidding.

According to my sources, they're actually ice cream cones. Wearing mustaches.

Here's the best example I could find:

(Go ahead, scroll back up and look at those other cakes again. I'll wait.)

[whistling]

(Back with me? Awesome.)

So, in conclusion: Kids, don't do drugs. And kids, don't do drugs and then try to market to hipsters. Seriously. Besides, this whole mustache thing is SO last week, amirite? So you can quit insulting our intelligence, corporate bakery people, and just take your silly little plastic mustaches and twee sense of cuteness and just... just...

[blink blink]

Forget what I just said.

SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY.

Thanks to Lorah W., Melinda M., Megan R., Kimberly S., Emily F., Colleen K., & Angie C., who know puns make everything better. Even hipster mustaches.