Dead Men May Tell No Tales, But Wrecked Cakes Sure Do.

Avast, ye lily livered lubbers! Did ye not know it's Talk Like a Pirate Day?

Now raise yer mugs to winsome wench Kia M., whose bilge-water Wreck here is evidence of some focsal swab drinking up and yo-ho'ing a bit too much while on duty. Mayhaps this is why the rum is always gone, eh, maties?

That sea-sick writing and algae-ridden muck creeping up the sides should earn some scurvy swabbie a one-way ticket to Davy Jones' locker - and seriously, what self-respecting pirate keeps giant yellow inflatable flotation devices onboard? It's totally messing with the color scheme, and don't get me started on that neon "rave" ladder...er...wait, I mean...Arrrr! Yellow bad!

Shiver me soul, I'm running out of pirate lingo, me 'arties. I best be gettin' back to the Pirate ride over at Disney for a refresher course.