American Super (Sized) Heroes
Americans, by and large, are fat. I'm an American, and I'm fat. Together with 64% of my fellow citizens, we're taking over the country, one chocolate-covered bacon maple donut bar at a time. Rather than get all down and out about it, though, I like the bakeries' approach: simply upsize all of our childhood icons to fit the times!
Hey, Mickey!
You don't understand
You're blocking up your heart
when you eat up all that ham!"
And lastly, here's one for us plus-sized princesses:
Remember, Melissa W., Jen S., Dawn G., Amanda L., & Cindy S., there's an upside to everything: fat people are much harder to kidnap.
- Related Wreckage: Does This Cake Make Me Look Fat?