Coulrophobia Cakes

Coulrophobia is the fear of clowns. Plenty of adults have it these days, and this vintage photo from Jessica E. may explain why:

Ah, yes: the great clown massacre of '77.

Rachel W. and I agree that the baker responsible for splitting this cake must be a sufferer:

See, now he's only got one hand to strangle you with - much better.

Plus, Melanie K. learned that bakeries today are still carrying on the proud tradition of traumatizing the kiddies:

"Come closer, little children. Binky wants to play..."

While Lulu C. discovered the ghosts of clowns past:

Or are those zombie clowns? Hmm. Better eat their brains before they eat yours, Lulu.

Of course Kyle D. is correct: no one put Coulrophobia on the map like Stephen King. Remember that freaky looking clown from It?

Because apparently this baker does.

Here he is again, only this time the resemblance is intentional:

Still, I'm disturbed. Look, I know I'm a wimp when it comes to horror flicks, but the fact that freakin' ten-year-olds are watching It is making me look unusually spineless-blob-of-jelly-like, ok? It's like the first time I got on a loopy roller coaster at age 20: There I was, about to soil myself with fear, while a stinkin' toddler (ok, so maybe he was a tall toddler) sat next to me giggling himself silly. Lucky for him I couldn't pry my white-knuckled hands from the lap bar, is all I can say.

Also, how bad does your name have to be that you abbreviate it on your own birthday cake? Sephiroth? Scooter? Sheldon? Scooby? (Yes, my knowledge of silly "s" names is limited to cartoons and video games.) Guys - your nominations?