Better Dieting Through Cake
NOTE: Now really isn't the time to start eating that bagel - or anything else, for that matter. :D
So, are you ready for swimsuit season? No? Then join the Cake Wrecks Appetite-Suppression Program, and get a thinner you in no time!
Yes, that's right! With a steady "visual diet" of Wrecks like these:
You'll find yourself craving all foods less and less!
For example: Are you having a hard time saying "no" to fatty animal shanks? (Because, really, who isn't?) Well, with our proven "You'll Hope They're Cloves!" model, you're guaranteed to never desire streaky blackened meat-on-the-bone ever again!
You're already reconsidering that lunch order, aren't you? Now imagine the results you'll get with a full 24/7 regimen!
It's so easy! The Cake Wrecks Appetite-Suppression Program contains a heart-healthy sculpted-cake medley of:
Disgusting food products...
(Red meat, green meat, meat that oozes, meat that's rare...)Enlarged insects...
(Post-stompage for maximum effectiveness)
(Just a little dab'll do ya!)All guaranteed to get you the results you want!
And for those dieting emergencies when you need an extra-strength dose of appetite suppressing Wreckage, there's our special "medical specimens" selection:
Filled with jelly, so you won't fill your belly!Melinda A., Tricia A., Kathleen, Jenn J., Kristin, & Debra F., eat your heart out.
Or don't, 'cuz that's kinda gross.
*Related Wreckage: The Cake Head Diet Aid
