Totally Stuffed

Alright, turkeys, ya fat blobs of fowl: ASSUME THE POSITION!

No, no, you're all too stiff! Look alive, now - get those legs out! Spread eagle!

Good, now, hold it - hooold it...

Aaaaand...breathe.

Good work.

Well, except for you, Tom:

Seriously, Tom, we have got to work on those legs.

Ok, now that we're all warmed up, let's get right to today's topic: "purging" your "stuffing."

My friends, this is not the answer.

Neither are explosive clean-outs:

Look, we all know these displays are distasteful, so let's stop the cycle of shame!

And take heart from the example of our own Admiral Ackbar, a former stuffing purger, who went from this:

To this:

(He assures us it's an improvement.)

Thanks to Libbie M., Beth G., Stevi A., Maida S., Gina B., Corie I., & Rebecca, who are convinced the Ackbar turkey is a trap.