Teaming With Wreckage

The only thing I know about sports is that hitting the man in black over the head with a rock is NOT very sportsmanlike. Still, even *I* can see something's off with these sports team cakes.

I mean, c'mon, who takes a lovely sunburned R.O.U.S. like this:

...and turns it into Disney's Mushu, twisted up like a pretzel?

P.S. For you non-Disney folk, this is Mushu:

This next one is much better, though:

Bwahahaha!!

Yes, I lied. Get used to disappointment.

How about a simple star?

Think it'll work?

Correct answer: "It would take a miracle."

At this point it's just morbid curiosity keeping you going, isn't it? [nodding] Yeah. I'm right there with ya.

[blinking] Hoo boy. Anyone else have a bad feeling about this?

Oh. Well, I guess it could be worse..

It's worse, it's worse!

Hey, you know those videos online where you see the freight train headed for the tanker truck full of gasoline, and part of you is cringing and thinking what a horrible tragedy is about to occur, and the other part is all, "Oh man, this is gonna be GOOD!"

Well, allow me to introduce a tanker truck full of gasoline:

Now, heeeere comes the freight traaaaaiiiin!! (Choo choo!)

KERBLOOOIEEE!!!

Thanks to today's Wreckporters Steve R., Rebecca W., Tug T., Valerie, & Stephanie, who would never get involved in a land war in Asia.