Star Wars: The Next Generation

Remember Katie, the little girl with the Star Wars water bottle who's been unofficially adopted by every geek on the Internet? Well, in Katie's honor, tomorrow is Wear and Share Star Wars Day!

This is a day to rock your Star Wars clothing or accessories, and also to donate a Star Wars or other geeky toy to your local shelter or hospital. Cool, right?

Now, for this special occasion Jen has asked me, Number 1, to write a Star Wars themed post. What Jen doesn't realize (and what I'm not going to tell her), is that I've never seen Star Wars. Ever. But I've seen Spaceballs a whole bunch of times, so I figure this'll be no biggie.

Ok, so, the movie is set in space, "the final frontier", sometime in the future. Luke Skywalter is the pilot for the Star Ship Firefly.

 

("Oh I'm sorry, we don't make Star Wars cakes at this bakery, but we'll happily make you one with plenty of 'space'." [Yeah. Seriously.])

 

 

Skywalter has to save the beautiful Princess Leia from the evil grip of Dark Vader and his Terminators:

"We will destroy Hans Solo by playing checkers."

 

 

In order to get past all of the Cylons, Skywalter makes some friends with magical powers:

RD2D, CP3O, and Spider-Man.

 

 

RD2D, CP3O, and Spider-Man follow Luke to the planet Vogon. There they find a short psychic Muppet in a swamp:

 

 

Slimer.


Slimer tells Luke to "use the force," but Luke doesn't know what that means so he shoots him. (First.) Luke and his gang then go back to the Enterprise to fight Dark Vader and rescue Princess Leia. Again.

 

 

But the ship is now underwater, which makes it impossible to turn on their Life Savers.


Dark Vader thinks it's unfair that Luke brought friends to help him fight, so Vader calls a friend of his own:

 

 

Accio pixie power!!

 

But wait! Slimer pops up from the dead and casts lightning into Vader's helmet. Pew! Pew!Vader falls to the ocean floor, and Slimer says, "You killed my father; prepare to die!" Then he crosses the tachyon streams to open a wormhole which sends Vader back to Gozer.

 

Then Luke, Slimer, CP30, RD2D, Scully, Mulder, and Superman all run to rescue the beautiful Princess Leia a third time, and she proclaims her love for Luke:

And they all live together on the island until John Locke finds himself dead in the coffin.

 

THE END

 

Thanks, Amanda K., Anony M., Autumn P., Amanda N., Sarah, Jessica H., Ruth K., and Mattie T. And as the brown coats say, "Live long, and may the force be with you." So say we all.

 


UPDATE from Jen: Don't miss today's CNN article on Katie, with quotes from yours truly!