ARRRRGH

"So, Kristen, sweetie, how was school?"

"Fine."

"Anything fun happen?"

"No."

"Are you looking forward to your party this weekend?"

"I guess."

"Aw, c'mon, it's your sixteenth birthday! This is a big deal! How about I order you a nice frilly pink cake with lots of ribbons and bows and puppies on it? Huh? Would you like that?"

"MOTHER."

"What?"

"NO."

"Well, what kind of cake do you WANT me to order, then? Just tell me!"

"Something to communicate the utter futility of modern existence."

"...."

"And NO BOWS."

"Er... So you want like a skull and crossbones or something?"

"Just the skull."

"Right. Er...ok! Great! We'll just work in a fun pirate theme!"

"Whatever."

Many thanks to mom Karen G., who was told a "full-size, realistic skull" would be no problem, and got this instead. Though to be fair, I'm sure Kristen appreciated all the pink.