A Total Dud
John and I spent all of last weekend working on the Halloween costumes we're going to wear to go trick-or-treating at Walt Disney World this Friday, because that's totally something thirty-something adults with no kids do.
Oh, I'm sorry; did I say "trick-or-treating? I meant "treak or treating."
It's a lot like trick-or-treating, only with more treaks.
We also bought a giant variety pack of Halloween candy to give out to the neighborhood kids next week, but John's already eaten everything except the little boxes of Milk Duds. We are literally going to be giving out Duds, you guys. We'll probably walk outside on November 1st to find our lawn littered with TP, Milk Dud boxes, and tiny molars.
I'm pretty sure caramel was invented by a lazy dentist who got tired of pulling teeth. Admit it: chewing caramel is like chewing a mouthful of Lilliputians armed with grappling hooks. (Really sweet Lilliputians, though. Some of which come with a chocolate coating. Mmm. Is this disturbing anyone else? No? Good.)
Hey, speaking of Lilliputians with grappling hooks... what the heck are these?
More importantly, does the idea of chewing gummi teeth squick anyone else out?
And most importantly, isn't "squick" like the coolest made-up word ever?
This ghostly bowling ball has a boo boo. See if you can spot it.
Now, I know what you're thinking, and I'm way ahead of you. So you just sit right there and relax, while Auntie Jen fetches just the thing you're looking for.
[sounds of construction]
[geese honking]
[slide rule]
[minor explosion]
Er, you did want a pair of zombie muppet pumpkins, right?
Dang, I'm good.
Hey, I just realized "Auntie Jen" sounds like "antigen" if you pronounce "aunt" the American, buggy way. Which is totally creppy.
It's kind of a cross between crappy and creepy.
Or maybe it's like a thin pancake.
Either way, as the pirate mummy with a poor grasp of puns likes to say,
"It's a wrap!"
Thanks to Heather S., Raevyn, Julie D., Brooke, Melios, Timothy C., & Lorinda R. for the spirited selections.
