Shark Week "Winners"

 "Thank goodness Shark Week is almost over. How did we get roped into judging this 'Oceanic Idol' contest, anyway? I'm not sure I can take any more of these catfish pretending they're the next Great White. It's just sooo pathetic, you know?"

 "Shhh...here comes the next batch."

 

"Rawr! I'mma shark!"

 "No, you're not. NEXT!"

"I am paralyzing you with my cold, predatory stare.
...Right?"

 "Well, we're paralyzed with something, that's for sure."

"Behold! I have the strength of ten sturgeons!"

"What are you supposed to be, The Thing?"

"No, I'm a lobster."

"Get out."

"No, really, I am!"

"I know. GET OUT."

"And what are you supposed to be?"

  "I'm a clown shark!"

 "Let me guess: because you taste funny?"

 "No, I traumatize small children."

 "Touché."

"Ok, Mr. Crab, we give up; what are you doing?"

"I call this, 'Blue Seal.' Sha-POW!"

"UG. You made that pun on porpoise, didn't you?"

"DID SOMEBODY SAY 'PORPOISE'??"

[everyone] "SHUT UP, LARRY."

"I can't believe we have to pick one these crazy fish for the winner, Otto."

"Tell me about it. What are we going to do?"

"Hello, boys."

 

[pause]

"The new Oceanic Idol, everybody!!"

Thanks to Nikki D., Melanie N., Tracie T., Leanne M., Amanda W., Laura B., Sarah O., & Kaitlin K. for teaching us that eggs can have tentacles. Really, I expected that lesson to come from Japan. {HEYO.}