THE PACIFIER

 He can stop a man in his tracks at fifty feet.

 He once froze time ... with his eyebrows.

  Children fear him. Scientists love him.

 He IS...

 THE PACIFIER:

 

  Er ... Excuse me, Mr. Pacifier? Would you mind looking this way at the camera?

 

Perfect. Thanks.

Thanks to Vicky G. for forever associating pacifiers with blobfish in all our minds. Ug. Aren't you glad babies can't read? And that you're not eating anything right now? (Oh, you ARE? Oops. MY BAD.)