Wrecktastic Beasts And Where To Find Them

I'm sure you've heard the big news by now: we're getting a new Harry Potter movie!!

Well, ...ish.

Ok, so really they're making a movie based on a "companion textbook" that Rowling wrote for Harry Potter called Fantastic Beasts And Where To Find Them. After that we get a run of Advanced Potions Off-Broadway and Herbology 101: The Reckoning.

Now, you may be wondering how exactly one turns a reference compendium of magical beasts into a movie.

I'M GLAD YOU ASKED.

***

[Scene opens on a brightly lit Quidditch field. A crowd of fantastical beasts emerges from the forest. followed by two zoo keepers.]

"Why, Dorfus, me boy, how's that ol' Blast-Ended Skrewt of yours?"

"Not bad, not bad, Grackby, but that Bubble-Snouted Lardypuss over there is giving me trouble."

"Really? I found his species quite charming. The Spotted Brandly Grouser, on the other hand..."

"Well, his cousins did lose their eyes yesterday.

"Say, have you seen our new Pan Galactic Gargle Mooner?"

"No, but I spotted a Bumble-Gristled Rhino-Phant in the muck back there."

"Aye, I 'spect he's a bad case of Turpentoan Jelly-Mites. Remind me to spray for those later, will you?"

"Only if you remind ME to clear out the Dementor Lizards in the head master's sock drawer!"

"Haha! 'Course I will, ol' chap! Ooh, say, is that a Twister-Lichen Taffy Fox??

"Yes, and I've always wondered: what DOES the fox say?"

[both laughing merrily]
[fade out]

THE END

Thanks to Amanda O., Amy & Cassidy, Fariah, Ilaria K., Sara P., Alia B., Suzanne B., & Sarah F. for that magical education.

Now, sit back, relax, and prepare to learn... WHAT THE FOX SAYS: