National Cowboy Poetry Week, 2016

Not gonna lie, minions: Cowboy Poetry Week is one of my favorite weeks of the year here on Cake Wrecks. Because you just never know how much fun writing cowboy poems is 'til you try... and fail spectacularly. EMBRACE THE BAD, MY FRIENDS.

My horse done went and joined Yoga
She loves it and won't ever quit!
My horse done went and joined Yoga
Now this is how she likes to sit.

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Oh, what a hoot,
There's a snake in my boot!
Yet over the hissing
I see the other one's missing
So I guess the point is now moot

STOMP STOMP

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Trapped in a casket of societal expectations
Bound by tradition, restricted by custom
But I am more
More than these trappings
More than my job and my people!

So cool it with the cow cakes already, Mom.

*****

Whoa there, Nelly!
Whoa there, generic horse name!

You're both drunk.

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I asked for a western to see,
You said, "watch this, trust me!"
What you didn't say
(And it's so not ok)
Is that it was Toy Story 3!?

[ugly crying]

*****

I ride and I rustle
And sometimes I shoot.
I'm a cowboy - a cowboy!
NOW WHERE'S MY OTHER BOOT?

Oh, there it is.
Er, I mean, what bliss!
I thank ye most kindly
For being... behind...ly...

[awkward pause]

I'M OUT.

Thanks to Kelly G., Katie F., Cassie H., Julia K., Silvia C., & Angela P. for rustlin' up today's wrecks.

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