Marriage Maintenance

I just noticed that today is "National Weigh-In Day" *and* "Divorce Monday."

Coincidence?

Maybe, maybe not. But better keep the spousal muffin-honking to a minimum, just in case.

And while we're being extra nice to our SOs, let's also agree: No dead animal cakes.

I know, it's a silly precaution, but the great thing about dead possum cakes? They always keep.

Hmm, maybe we should avoid anything with poop on it, too.

Sure, you and I know this says, "I clean up your crap because I love you," but our spouses might get more of a "Hey sh*thead here's a crap cake because EAT POOP" vibe, and no one wants that.

Well, I mean, SOME people want that, but unless you're celebrating and/or instigating Divorce Day, steer clear of the poo.

If you're thinking you can go the safe route and get your better half a sexy cake, again, I advise caution.

[head tilt]

No, actually, this is perfect. Proceed.

And finally, when all else fails, there's always the ol' standby:

Booze and sugar, baby. BOOZE AND SUGAR.

Thanks to Hannah M., Shirena G., Melody H., & Meaghen H. for speaking our love language.

*****

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