Yes, Bakers Are Still Making Disgusting Baby Shower Cakes

Warning: Graphic cakes of a medical nature to follow. Hide the kids, and hold on to your appetites!

Additional Helpful Warning from john (the hubby of Jen): There's lady bits ahead.

Remember when all we had to worry about on baby shower cakes was the occasional creepy doll or demonic ultrasound photo?

Next were the boob and belly cakes, because apparently moms-to-be harbor sado-cannabalistic tendencies:

Then they added those Alien-inspired belly-burster baby feet - which is SUPER fun to say three times fast. (Go on, try it. You know you want to.)

Soon even celebs like Christina Aguilera were getting in on the gross-out-your-guests act:

So how do you top edible naked moms giving birth?
Why, make the cake wet plastic shiny and embed a bunch of CLEAR GELATIN, of course.

Mmm, that's the stuff.

Or you could go for classic realism:

Sure, everyone will 'ooh' and 'ahhh' - until the carving knife comes out.
("No, no, YOU serve." "No, you!" "Maybe we'll just have ice cream.")

(If you need more nightmares, just look at this baby cake being sliced.)

But for maximum hurkin'-in-the-gherkins, there's really no beating the spread leg, peek-a-boo head:

With extra jam filling.

Hang on, it's missing something. No, not feet. Or a torso. Or common decency.

PUBIC HAIR!

Ah, so much better.

But really, aren't those legs kind of, I dunno, unnecessary?

I mean, let's get back to basics, people:

All a good dessert needs is stretched vagina lips, and a crowning fetus head. Am I right, or am I right?

Thanks to Kasey V., Sandy R., Linda G., Darren W., Devon H., Lynds, & Maggie for understanding that there was really no good way to censor those last three, short of blacking out the whole photo. Which would be preferable, but less educational.

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Hmm, I wonder if "uncomfortably realistic baby shower cake" is on this list?

 Welcome to the Club: 100 Parenting Milestones You Never Saw Coming

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And from my other blog, Epbot: