10 Easy Ways To Completely Wreck Your Icing Balloons

It's almost TOO simple: a round blob with a string.

So how can you wreck the humble icing balloon?

Oh, my sweet, naive little baker friends.

LET ME COUNT THE WAYS.

1) Embrace The Airbrush:

I'm talking full-on bear hug territory here, folks. Love it. Use it. Defend it with your life. Don't ever let it go.

2) Choose Your Colors.... WISELY:

Crap brown with black "highlights?" Oooh, now you're cooking with gas!

Plus, anything that brings to mind bleeding orifices...

...IS PERFECT.

3) Remember Size Is Relative:

And you could totally fit a few more in there.

4) ...But Bigger Is Always Better:

Just throw a few tiny balloons on top to keep it confusing.

5) Of COURSE That Piping Tip Works

I mean, why wouldn't it?

6) Try Turning Them Into Insidious Ground-Dwelling Creatures:

::slither slither slither::

7) Or Colorful Hair Buns!

Floating grandma heads have never looked so festive.

(I'm not the only one seeing this, right?)

8) Gravity Schmavity:

Just be sure to never look at how real balloons work in real life, 'cuz that shiz will blow your freaking mind.

9) Look For Inspiration In Unlikely Places:

Like the wads of chewing gum under the counter!

And finally, the tried-and-true favorite of bakers everywhere:

10) Just Make Them Look Like Sperm:

Aww, three of them made it!

Thanks to Allison W., Erin, Becky G., Anne B., Hilary E., Mandy B., Rachel W., Brenda, Susan C., & Jason for finding some of the most hilarious balloon wrecks ever conceived.

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Wow, party balloons have come a loooong way. Have you SEEN this adorable doggy pack?

Pet Dog Balloon Walkers, 14 Pc

You get 14 for $14! I need an excuse to buy these. And also a cat version. :D

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And from my other blog, Epbot: