John Says This Post Will Offend Absolutely Everyone. LET'S FIND OUT.
Would you believe there is a gross true story that goes along with this amputated foot cake?
Of course you would.
Well anyway, there is.
Moving on...
At first I thought this was a horse sinking belly-up into a dark pond:
In fact, if that was what the baker had been going for, right now I'd be saying, "Whoa that's bad... but at least you can tell what it is!" Then I'd have made the obligatory "never-ending trauma over Artax" joke and moved on.
But instead, here I am, saying, "HOW IS THAT A MOTORCYCLE?!" o.0
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This one tripped me up for a sec, too:
In fact, here's my exact thought process:
Hmmmm... Butterfly on a beach ball? With... maracas?
Ohh, wait, no, it's a belly cake. Of course. Because physically feasible proportions are for wusses!
Huh, but why is there a spiky hot dog between the boobs? And what ARE those teeny yellow spikes, anyway?
Hang on, and what's the fleshy hook thing attached to the boob? Oh wait... oh gosh... please tell me that's an arm. I'm having a rough morning. I need this.
Hey, I should totally transcribe this for the minions. They'd love it. Or question my sanity. But then, that ship sailed at least 8 years ago.
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This was served at an American military base overseas for Martin Luther King Day:
The Army FB page that originally posted it (that's their watermark, so no, "WTF" is not actually on the cake) questioned the decision-making behind those icing color choices, and I have to back them up there. It looks like a Freddie Mercury Easter egg sitting on a bag of flour. o.0
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Cheryl ordered a beach cake that read, "Happy Birthday to the Old Guys!"
Instead, she received a gift for every single one of us:
Please tell me I'm not the only one side-eyeing those "surf boards" SO HARD RIGHT NOW.
Thanks to Andrea G., Gisella, Joy E., Andrea P., & Cheryl J. for making waves.
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P.S. It wasn't easy finding an appropriate product to follow all that, but lucky for us, Elvira's bosoms come EXTRA SALTY:
Elvira Salt & Pepper Shaker Set
That image on the right is gonna haunt me.
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And from my other blog, Epbot:
