BEWARE THE CON RATS
Summer is the reward students get for successfully completing another year of educational excellence. Or for partying all year and flunking out. (Nobody said life was fair, kids.)
So while graduation season may be over, I think it's time our bakers had a little summer schoolin'.
Bakers? Welcome to "How-To-Spell-'Congratulations'-101."
I can see it's going to be a long day.
Alright, let's practice: C-O-N-G-R-A-T-U-L-A-T-I-O-N-S. See? Now you try.
I dare you to read that aloud.
("Comgratatum?")
Try again.
G, you shouldn't have.
No, really.
And don't think I'm not on to your latest scheme, bakers. You know, the one where you just pipe a heap of scribbles halfway through the word and hope no one notices?
Cheater.
The best part is how you can still clearly see those last two are misspelled. Next time just chuck some High School Musical flotsam on there.
At this point, even I have forgotten how to spell it. I would "COHGRADULITTE" you, bakers, but I don't think I can handle that level of irony.
Let's try a new approach: just shorten it to "Congrats!" That's easy enough, right?
*sigh*
What is wrong with you people?
For a wild, hopeful second there I thought this had something to do with comic conventions starting up week:
"Watch out for those Con Rats!"
...but then I realized I it was a different kind of "con." Rats.
Well, you've all failed the course, bakers. So, hey, get out there and continue collecting a paycheck for brutalizing the English language! Woo! Yeah!
Oh, and kids? Stay in school. Or don't.
Honestly, your bakery manager probably won't give a con rat's @ss.
Thanks to Nancy H., Jessica E., Julia L., Michelle W., Meghan H., Amanda N., Julie D., Elizabeth B., & Bailey for the pep talk!
*****
P.S. Here's a (hilarious) reminder that English is almost as confusing as these cakes:
