Parental Payback
Parents, when it comes to planning your child's birthday party, prepare for a lot of whining, temper tantrums, and willful brattiness.
Plus your kids might be a pain, too.
Well, here's one way to exact a little revenge: your kids' birthday cake.
Can't sleep. Barney will eat me.
Yep, there's something about seeing their favorite lovable character transformed into a homicidal psychopath that could slightly unhinge more impressionable minds.
"To infinity! and killkillkillkillkillkillkillkillkillkill."
Hey, whatever doesn't make your children soil themselves in panic-stricken terror only makes them stronger, right?
"Now, don't worry, kids; Elmo's more afraid of you than you are of him!
"Billy, would you like to do the honors? Let's start with a good clean stab through Elmo's eye. Go on.
"Oh, quit crying. Birthday boys *like* eating Muppet eyes! And just look at that face! Elmo wants you to eat him!"
Ok, granted, you'll be the one paying for their therapy sessions later, but in the meantime...
Spongebob No Pants is here to say hello, kids!
Besides, sometimes there are added benefits:
I'm pretty sure your daughter will never ask for a pony again.
Thanks to wreckporters Laurie H., Stephanie L., Kevin H., Fraulein M., & Jennifer S., who think I should totally write parenting books. (Working title: Odds Are, They'll Live.)
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And from my other blog, Epbot:
