"Write!" Said Fred

It's handwriting analysis week, minions, so I'm here to demonstrate this fascinating science.
What does your baker's work say about them? Let's find out!

- Passive-aggressive

- Uses "jazz hands"

- Writes erotic Zombie fan-fic

- Cries during yogurt commercials

- twerks

- Collects spores, molds, and fungus

- Has to pee

- Pushes ALL the elevator floor buttons

- Gym grunter

- Conspiracy theorist

- Magician

Hope this helps you see those wrecks in a whole new light, minions! And remember: an upward slanting signature with extra long loopy bits means you have excellent taste in websites, so congrats on that.

Thanks to Kate M., Jill S., Johnny E., Sara G., Sarah S., Kelly D., David F., Jasmine K., Lacey C., Jenny H., & Shelly D., who are all too sexy for my party.

*****

P.S. Bad handwriting is about the best segue I'm going to find to talk about my favorite liquid eyeliner, so, BEHOLD:

Nano Liner

Listen, once you hit 40 you tend to want thinner eyeliners, in the hopes that at least SOME of your eyeshadow will still show under your drooping eye flaps. (Just me?) I transitioned from brush liners to felt tips years ago, and the Nano is my gold standard: crisp, thin lines, a flexible felt tip that makes wings vastly easier, and best of all, it costs less than $7, y'all. What whaaaaat. Trust me, buy two.