Punctuation Rule's

Today I thought it'd be good to go over the five basic;... "punctuation" rules.

Bakers, pay attention.

Rule #1: Sometimes periods, question marks, and exclamation points are important.

And they usually go at the end of the sentence.

(But what if it's not mine?)

Rule #2: Commas. Use them.

Unless you actually own an ass quitter.

Also note that the word "comma" can sometimes sound like "karma."

Just FYI.

Rule #3: Apostrophe's. Sure. Why not.

(And that's the FIXED version...)

Rule #4: When in doubt, throw in some extra exclamation marks.

What you lack in competency you can always make up for with enthusiasm.

Or, if you're REALLY confused, try some ellipses!

Eh?!

And finally:
Rule #5: Quotation Marks Are For Sarcasm, NOT EMPHASIS.

If it helps, just imagine Dr. Evil saying the bit you put in quotes.

Yep, just follow these five simple rules, and you'll be fine.

"Promise.”

Thanks to Terry H., Mel P., Shawn G., Kate A., Chrissie G., Ebony M., Megan H., Christina M., Norma Jean, Andrea P., & Sarah V. for the extra dose of eeee-vil.

*****

A lot of you need this shirt. Just saying’.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot: