The Cat's Meow

{cue sexy saxophone music}

"Oh my... Hello, beautiful lady. I didn't see you come in. Welcome to The Kitty Den, where all of your wildest fantasies can come true. I was just about to slip out of this stiff collar and enjoy a fresh bottle of wine by the fire. Won't you... join me?"

"This wood is big enough for two."

"Or purrrhaps you'd prefer to snuggle with someone a bit more... soft?"

"His claws have been trimmed and he was flea-combed just for you, baby."

"But maybe you're the kind of girl who likes things...dirty."

"Our alley cats are ready for a roll in the hay (or chocolate shavings, if you so desire)."

"That's right, sugar. Here at The Den, our fancy felines fire all of your foxy fantasies."

"Oh, don't mind Gary. He's just our I.T. guy."

Thanks to Violet, Ginger, Kat (how appropriate), and Mary for these handsome hunky hairballs. Mrrow...

- Related Wreckage: Stop the Insanity!

Flotsam Plops

The concept is simple: take an otherwise passable cake, and then stick a completely unrelated piece (or pieces) of plastic flotsam on it. Voila! Flotsam plop.

Oh, and when I say "completely unrelated," I mean "completely unrelated."

And lo, unto us a carrot cake is borne.
And high, we suspecteth the Wreckerator was. Eth.

Look, this carrot cake was doing just fine without divine accompaniment - so why the plastic angel pick? Did the Wreckerator think that was actually helping, or was s/he meeting some flotsam distribution quota?

Care to pick a pack of plops?

The migrating guitar herd strikes again.

Here's how you pander to fanboys and fangirls everywhere:

No, no, it's not a blue dog - it's a BAT dog. Sha-pow!

Plus, that upside-down bat logo tells us he sticks to the ceiling!

Bringing "downward facing dog" to new heights.

Perhaps you don't think these examples have been ridiculous enough, though. Nooo problem. What would you say to Dora the Explorer's head stuck in another doll cake's lap?

Go ahead. Try and imagine that's just the world's largest, creepiest belt buckle.

Personally, I'd say "Hola, Dora! S-O-C-K-S!" Because that's all the Spanish I know. I never learned what it means, though, so here's hoping it's not something dirty. (Although, frankly, that might be appropriate here.)

I have some thoughts about the snowman in the gal's lap behind Dora, too, but for all our sakes I'll leave that to you guys in the comments.

So, just how bad is the flotsam plop epidemic getting?

This bad:

Because even cake sold by-the-slice needs accessorizing.
And Superman beats everybody at bowling.

Katrina S., Lisa K., Dawn, Frzn D., & Jane D., "flotsam plops" is officially my new favorite phrase. Flotsamplopsflotsamplopsflotsamplops. Heehee!

- Related Wreckage: Totally Cheating