Horse (Non)Sense

Momma gave us this birthday tip
Her face stern, her hand on her hip
"When serving horse cake
"With this kind of face

"Well, sonny, don't give me no lip."

***

Gumdrop was gloomy and tense
Her flight was one filled with suspense

With wings on one side
No physics applied
But whoever said magic makes sense?

***

This pony gives no end of grief
Its texture defies all belief

Missing legs, is it now?
Should we call it a cow?
Because wow does it look like ground beef.

***

Ted is a unicorn with sass
His friends like to say he's a gas

The life of the party
Whenever he's farty
And rainbows shoot out of his a$$

Thanks to Amanda L., another Amanda, Brio G., & Sarah L. for finding everyone's next birthday cake request. Take note, bakers: Rainbow-Farting Unicorns for EVERYBODY!

*****

Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.

Armed To The Tea

Have you ever wandered through a bakery and thought, "Man, I could really go for a cake shaped like an arm holding a cup of hair right now"?

Well if so, then YOU are a very disturbed individual. Seriously. Maybe you should talk to someone.

But also, you're in luck!

Now, I know what you're thinking, and I completely agree. TOTALLY. But where would we even get a robot monkey at this hour? 

You may also be wondering where the hair is.

There it is!

("I see...THE GRIM. And he's shedding like crazy.")

I'd say it looks like someone plucked out their mustache, but only because there are children present and I wouldn't want this to get too...public. (HI, KIDS.) I'd also go out on a limb and say this baker has single-handedly created the most disarming assault on the funny bone yet - but only because puns make me snort-giggle.

But in case that's not enough hair for you, fear not; there's more!

Ick.

Er, I mean...talk about a hairy situation that must have taken a lot of elbow grease! Haha!

K, I think that's all I've got. SO, let the Professor Trelawney jokes...begin.

Thanks to Julia for reminding us of our universal right to bare arms. (Ok, that's the last one. Promise.)

*****

Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.